Phantom Wank

When a male sits on his hand until numb then has a wank so it feels like someone else is doing it.

I felt particularly lonely so i had a phantom wank, to pretend i have a friend.

by Cleggfu September 15, 2013

posh wank

To masturbate whilst wearing a condom. Hence, to posh to clean up after yourself!

He was having a posh wank.

by Flaps March 4, 2003

Guilt wank

The feeling of guilt when you have finished masturbating over an ugly person.
Also applying to masturbation over ugly pornographic material (e.g. fat woman).

When you are feeling seriously horny and you think it is acceptable to choose a random person to masturbate over. Either whilst looking at one of their photographs or texting/ chatting to them online. Only to realize shortly after you've exploded that they are fuck ugly, and you've just made the biggest mistake of your life. You have fallen victim to a 'guilt wank'.

by tommy13 April 9, 2011

wank fodder

Someone very attractive, that implies they are masturbated over.

That chick is some SERIOUS wank fodder.

by Barney Boo February 5, 2005

Facebook wank

When you log on to facebook, the first girl you see that has updated their status, you open up a picture of her and have a wank.

"I had a facebook wank last night!"
"What's that?"
"I logged on, saw Sarah at the top of list opened up a picture of her and had a wank!"
"Sounds good!"

by Jimmy Peters December 24, 2008

Wank Biscuit

Wank Biscuit is a game played by a group of 3 or over males! It involves all males participating to masturbate until they ejaculate onto a biscuit or cookie of thier choice preferably a digestive! All males must ejaculate onto the biscuit! The loser is the last male to ejaculate onto the now high protine snack! As a forfiet the loser must eat the biscuit!

BOB: who wants to play wank Biscuit?
Dave: Erm......No!
Sam: Yeah!
Rick: Go on then!
Pete: Okay!
Bob: HA! Three against one Dave your Playin!
Dave: For fuck sake! I never win?
Bob: You love it you sick fuck!

by mike doom July 12, 2004

bag of wank

somthing that is incredibly crap

shit, this music channels a bag of wank,turn it over!

by hols January 12, 2004