turd stick

A short length of fence post with a pointed end, used for dislodging large lumps of feces blocking a toilet. Kept outside (for obvious reasons), it is brought inside on those occasions where large amounts of pasta, bread, cheese and alcoholic beverage have been recently consumed, and are causing blockages to both bowels and plumbing. Combination of the terms turd and stick.

George, bring the turd stick, I've blocked the toilet again.

by Googles January 11, 2004

dull turd

Slang for "adulterer". Sounds vaguely like "adulterer" and names them after something of comparable intelligence.

BOB: Wow, Barbara really likes me!

JOE: She's married dude. She's a dull turd.

by Rev. Johnny Cash March 10, 2009

turd bagel

A bagel one encounters on the ground with a turd placed on top of it. The bagel can be any flavor but needs to be complete and entire- portions of bagels do not count. The location of the bagel is generally the sidewalk, but a turd bagel could theoretically be found anywhere. The turd should be large enough to cover and crown the bagel hole, so it is usually a large dog or human turd.

"Holy shit! Watch out, you almost stepped on that turd bagel!"

Also- Al Franken is a total turd bagel.

by Bronx Betty April 3, 2013

Marinated Turd

When you take a dump, then piss on top and leave it to soak overnight. If the turd is particularly powerful, and the toilet seat is left down, the resulting stench is fucking brutal upon discovery.

This morning I was greeted by a marinated turd when I went into my bathroom.

That bitch pissed me off, so I left a turd marinating in her toilet.

by Mister Captain Awesome November 12, 2009

elephant turd

A pre-formed hemispherical concrete unit, 8-10" in diameter, commonly placed on the edge of lawns in order to discourage people from driving on the grass; also a useful projectile for automotive and domestic smash-and-grab break-ins. Common in Florida.

Some dickwipe broke into my BMW with an elephant turd.

by TheLivingGoober August 17, 2008

turd tenderizer

The active male homosexual.

Chrithtopher, you are thuch a turd tenderizer.

by sbo March 28, 2011

Turd Punt

Passing an undesirable job to a co-worker.

That Johnson file really looked like a bitch of a job, so I'm going to turd punt it to Mason. He's going to kill me when he finds out.

by stratocaster July 22, 2008