Dead Man’s Hand Dutch Rudder

When someone (friend, stranger, homeless person, whoever) is either unconscious or deceased and you grab their hand, wrap their fingers around your erect penis and manipulate their elbow into moving their arm to jerk you off.

“Yo, my buddy was passed out in basically a diabetic coma, so before I called 911 I used him to give me a dead man’s hand Dutch rudder. I even finished right before the paramedics got there. I told them the jizz on his face was just frosting from all the Cinnabon and sodies he ate. They bought it!”

by The Gaudy Ginger February 10, 2021

Hand dog

Giving a blowjob to a dog

I just did a hand dog with Hassan's dog, it was fun

by BRUNO diff January 16, 2021

Miraz's Right-Hand Rule

By making your middle finger and thumb into the shape of an L, the length of your dick is the diagonal distance between the two tips. Great for comparing dick sizes with the homies without having to go through the hassle of doing it normally.

Wanna compare dick sizes?
Yea!
Why are you taking your pants off? Just use Miraz's RIght-Hand Rule!

by dud3man November 10, 2021

Hand Briefs

When a guy poses naked with only his hand covering his junk. Similar to a female's Hand Bra.

"Yo. Tracy showed me that Alan sent her a pic of himself with Hand Briefs. He's into some really intense sexting!"

by Biiig Z September 25, 2011

Ranch Hand

When you use ranch dressing as a personal lubricant for masturbation.

"I left out the Hidden Valley after I was finished eating my hot wings, so I could give myself the old ranch hand."

by DeAnn Guthrie March 21, 2023

hand sneeze

When you ejaculate after a hand job.

Man, you should've seen my hand sneeze last night!

by Artie Chokes November 24, 2021

Invisible Hand

That just isn't true Mike.

Hym "You are the invisible hand Mike. And by not doing what I am telling you to do right fucking now... You are preventing me from doing the thing your are saying there isn't and invisible hand doing... But where the invisible hand ISN'T... Is IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS. And THAT is where it SHOULD be. You need to MOVE THAT FUCKING HAND MIKE. You need to move that hand from where it is to in front of you kids because IF YOU DON'T... There isn't going to be anything there to block the knife. You only have fo many hands and no I do not have to do ANYTHING else. You move that fucking hand where it belongs, bitch. You understand? You move that fucking hand. You put it where you OUGHT to put it. You use that shit-brain and that mouth of yours properly. That's where your hand should be. I am not your child. As desperately as you want to be an authority I can not escape, I'm just too fast to miss a clumsy 3 foot tall idiot. No matter how weak and slow I am."

by Hym Iam July 5, 2025