by schvety_balls April 6, 2016
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Soccer is one of the most popular sports in the world. Its played by overpaid sissy men on a field you could land a 747 on. The goalies defend a net you could park a semi trailer in which is the hardest job on the field. Sometimes goalies are expected to stop in excess of three shots per game.
The most frequently used strategy in soccer involves lying on the the field and writhing around and crying at the smallest semblance of physical contact. Often times when no contact has even occurred but the refs weren't looking. This will get you a free shot that will probably miss the net anyways because hitting a 40 foot wide net is somehow hard.
Sure soccer players can run for extended periods of time as if that is supposed to get me to respect them. Who cares? They should try playing ice hockey where you have to skate the whole time with a lot of equipment on and can't run out of bounds like the girly soccer players. In fact I defy any soccer player to willingly jump in front of a 110 mph shot.
Soccer is also a convenient excuse to display cultural and racial intolerance in the form of riots and murder. Property damage is also usually on display before during and after a soccer match.
Because if watching a 4 hour game that ends in a 0-0 tie with 4 shots on goal between teams doesn't make you want to trample children and throw Molotov's at the police I don't know what will.
But as long as they can run around for extended periods of time most of Europeans will love it.
The most frequently used strategy in soccer involves lying on the the field and writhing around and crying at the smallest semblance of physical contact. Often times when no contact has even occurred but the refs weren't looking. This will get you a free shot that will probably miss the net anyways because hitting a 40 foot wide net is somehow hard.
Sure soccer players can run for extended periods of time as if that is supposed to get me to respect them. Who cares? They should try playing ice hockey where you have to skate the whole time with a lot of equipment on and can't run out of bounds like the girly soccer players. In fact I defy any soccer player to willingly jump in front of a 110 mph shot.
Soccer is also a convenient excuse to display cultural and racial intolerance in the form of riots and murder. Property damage is also usually on display before during and after a soccer match.
Because if watching a 4 hour game that ends in a 0-0 tie with 4 shots on goal between teams doesn't make you want to trample children and throw Molotov's at the police I don't know what will.
But as long as they can run around for extended periods of time most of Europeans will love it.
Jesus that soccer match sure was boring. I fell asleep halfway through because it's just a bunch of guys running around not doing anything. But at least it picked up with the post game race riot.
by Hartford A. Thickewhistle October 23, 2013
Get the Soccer mug.A special kind of soccer in which the most important skill is the ability to writhe on the field in fake agony until the ref yellow/red cards an opposing player.
by Q-Ray July 11, 2006
Get the Italian soccer mug.The person that gets stuck picking everyone up to take them to work or an event.
The Designated Driver in a group of drunken friends
The Designated Driver in a group of drunken friends
by Manderin September 19, 2005
Get the Soccer mom mug.a kid with brown hair and brown eyes that is going to be a professional soccer player. he never gives up and keeps on fighting. Italy is his city and mexico is his country.
{man }in the crowd "wow that soccer player sure seems good" {man sitting next to him} " yea hes going to play professional one day"
by sport definitions February 24, 2019
Get the Soccer player mug.fagot sport for pussy's who are to scared to play a real sport like American football. if anyone would dive or fake an injury in football, you would be killed by your teammates. soccer is for little crybaby girls. don't u ever say that it is a tough sport.
soccer player: lets fake that were hurt and do our hair nice for the pussy European fans
football player: fuck you! "beats the crap out of him"
football player: fuck you! "beats the crap out of him"
by Football4life May 24, 2008
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