Onion-take

Where a reader absentmindedly scrolls through their social media or news feed and encounters an article too strange or too sad to be real. The reader then reflexively reverses scroll direction to verify if the article is a piece of satire or authentic news.

Named for a portmanteau of Onion, a satirical news outlet, and the double take.

Alex was prompted to Onion-take while scrolling Facebook, and found themselves horrified to learn that the article about competitive-eater Kobayashi being beaten by Chris Christie was posted by BBC News and not The Onion.

by RealFakeNews April 15, 2020

Take Fittys

A descrite way of pointing out a nice set of fake tits.

Joe: Hey frank did you see those take fittys.

Frank: Yeah I bet those cost a pretty penny!

by Bigeman25 August 19, 2008

auto-take

when you hold an object out so someone will assume you're offering it to them and take it off your hands

lara: (holding out ipod) who's freaking ipod is this? i don't want it!
...
lara: gahh i was hoping someone would just auto-take it from me

by mizaeroganse December 26, 2008

Take a half

To leave work early. Usually unexpected

I am sick of this shit.Imma Take a half up in this bitch

by Nibiru33 March 10, 2010

Taking an Abby

Taking an unusually large and time consuming dump.

Friend 1: “man, after eating that Taco Bell I couldn’t help myself. I had to just drop everything and found myself taking an abby.”
Friend 2: “ahh, so that’s where you’ve been the last 35 minutes. Hope the toilets not clogged”

by Aprilfoolsking May 17, 2018

take it to the staircase

Moving to a safer location when engaging in sexual activity.

Let's take it to the staircase

by fsid123 March 1, 2011

Taking a Charles

When a co-worker takes an hour bathroom break dropping a deuce while facebooking.

Worker 1: Do you know where William is at?
Worker 2: I have no idea, Probably taking a charles.

by TheTrollthatLurks November 20, 2012