Bloomfield, New Mexico is just another word for "Vacuum." I like to call it, "Darwin's Sick Joke." It is the smallest town in San Juan County and hasn't grown any larger since 1973. It is also mostly filled with Navajos, and large Mexican Families so inbreeding occurs regularly almost by accident (but mostly on purpose). The town its self seems more like an ill-conceived, trash ridden suburb to Farmington, New Mexico. Mostly because most of Bloomfield's population works in Farmington. There is nothing to do but drink, shoot guns in crowded neighborhoods, and do Meth. Which is where most of New Mexico's supply of Meth is produced.
Bloomfield High is just a four-year (or two if you're desperate) holding cell before you either work in a Oil Field job, and then resort to meth to get the "overtime" hours. If you're not in the oil field, you're probably ridiculed for not working in the oil field. 75% of any graduating class has never thought of leaving town, 15% Only went to college in state or in the Four Corner States (Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Utah) and the small 10% actually get out from the area entirely, only to be sucked back again.
If you can avoid living, hell, even passing through Bloomfield, New Mexico, do so. Because once you stop, you're stopped for life.
Bloomfield High is just a four-year (or two if you're desperate) holding cell before you either work in a Oil Field job, and then resort to meth to get the "overtime" hours. If you're not in the oil field, you're probably ridiculed for not working in the oil field. 75% of any graduating class has never thought of leaving town, 15% Only went to college in state or in the Four Corner States (Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Utah) and the small 10% actually get out from the area entirely, only to be sucked back again.
If you can avoid living, hell, even passing through Bloomfield, New Mexico, do so. Because once you stop, you're stopped for life.
Onlooker: So where are you from?
Sad Fuck: Bloomfield.
Onlooker: Broomfield, CO?
Sad Fuck: No, Bloomfield, New Mexico
On looker: Oh shit. (walks away shuttering, produces a bottle of hand sanitizer and starts washing himself viscously to get)
Sad Fuck: Bloomfield.
Onlooker: Broomfield, CO?
Sad Fuck: No, Bloomfield, New Mexico
On looker: Oh shit. (walks away shuttering, produces a bottle of hand sanitizer and starts washing himself viscously to get)
by Delirium-J12 January 7, 2011
Get the Bloomfield, New Mexico mug.When you hook up with a chick for the first time, like right after the ruffies take hold, Dustin Diamond style and you test her anus for stress factors, find her breaking point.
Just as it's getting hot and heavy, jam your arm in her rectum slowly all the way up to the elbow, sans lube, start pulling your arm out slowly while opening your fist like a blooming rose......A Bloomin' Brown Rose. Repeat this manouver until walking is no longer a realistic endeavour.
Just as it's getting hot and heavy, jam your arm in her rectum slowly all the way up to the elbow, sans lube, start pulling your arm out slowly while opening your fist like a blooming rose......A Bloomin' Brown Rose. Repeat this manouver until walking is no longer a realistic endeavour.
A: "Whachu know about ass fistin'?"
Prision Inmate: "lots"
A: "Oh yeah? You know a bunch eh?"
Prison Inmate: "Yeah, I do, Not a big deal"
D: "Come on Andy, don't pretend like you've never had a Bloomin' Brown Rose?
A: "You guys are dicks!"
M: "Next time, we eat Wiarton Willy"
Prision Inmate: "lots"
A: "Oh yeah? You know a bunch eh?"
Prison Inmate: "Yeah, I do, Not a big deal"
D: "Come on Andy, don't pretend like you've never had a Bloomin' Brown Rose?
A: "You guys are dicks!"
M: "Next time, we eat Wiarton Willy"
by CheeseDumper February 21, 2011
Get the Bloomin' Brown Rose mug.Related Words
A small town where chavs, slags and arseholed university students get together to create utter chaos.
by MegannMaate July 12, 2011
Get the Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania mug.I have enjoyed her entries so much that I am posting a link to her blog, call it a 'blomage' if you will.
by WeeLittleBit February 9, 2005
Get the blomage mug.by GiganticHo November 8, 2018
Get the Late Bloomer mug.A hainous sexual performance in which a man engages in intercourse with 5 women. The man first performs cunnilingus on the first woman, the second and third women are getting probed with two to three fingers in their vaginas. The forth woman is riding the man’s penis in either the cowgirl or the (optional) reserve cowgirl position. The fifth woman is loudly humming on the mans testicles making sure that this sexual act is well and truely heard if there are any people in proximity to this act.
“I had an epic bloomin last night with the birds from work.”
You deserved it you legend, but bloody hell that humming was loud!”
“I was at the rippers last night and copped a mad bloomin with all the strippers!
Oh yeah, how loud was the hum?
Fucken loud mate!”
You deserved it you legend, but bloody hell that humming was loud!”
“I was at the rippers last night and copped a mad bloomin with all the strippers!
Oh yeah, how loud was the hum?
Fucken loud mate!”
by Lachlan and Swanny August 24, 2017
Get the Bloomin mug.Similar to fisting, it is the act of putting your hand in the shape of a duck bill (like you would if doing a shadow puppet.) You then slip the hand into the vagina until you reach as far as you can go. Once you are there, you open your hand and wiggle your fingers.
by Unsolicited Advice Guy April 13, 2010
Get the Blooming flower mug.