alca-tard

1. An otherwise seemingly normal acquiantance whose thought process has obviously been clouded by copious and/or regular alcohol consumption, to the point where their normal personality seems to have been negatively affected, even during brief periods of sobriety. ~Often detected by unusually frequent bouts of making a complete ass of ones self and may be accompanied with foul odors.

2. Someone who may already have, or an insinuated suspicion that they may be dangerously close to having a diagnosable problem with alcohol.

3. Term for a person whose apparent alcohol intoxication seemed cause for a particularly unusual incident of stupid behavior.

James: "Was that weird or what last night when Steve took his pants off in the middle of the neighborhood BBQ?"

James' wife: "Yea, we definately need to put out an alca-tard alert."

alcoholic alcoholism

by Superick February 8, 2010

Tard Keeper

A teacher or aide that is in charge of watching retarded students.

I was walking down the hall and this tard started to molest me. Finally the tard keeper realized what was going on and put a stop to it.

by Ryan Ristow September 15, 2007

army tard

An army tard is someone who may or may not have served in the armed forces, but insists that everything about the army is 'really cool' and 'patriotic'. Army tards usually display stickers on their vehicles indicating their rank or unit affiliation or some other type of military related jargon, which makes them feel 'special'. Army tards at the university level, to include ROTC cadets, usually stand out as those who maintain 'regulation haircuts', walk as if they're in an imaginary formation, and engage in really loud army-related conversations with other army tards.

Army tard 1: "Hey man, I can't wait to go to Iraq/Afghanistan. I hear all they do is work out all day and the food's really good!"

Army tard 2: "Yeah dude me too, but before I go, I'm buying an authentic K-BAR to attach to my right boot."

Army tard 1: "I don't know what i'd do without the army!"

Army tard 2: "Yeah, me too!"

by terminalsoup March 1, 2010

Smart tard

A high functioning retard.

Timmy the handicapped boy goes to work everyday and does his job well, he sure is a smart tard! ;)

by jphkelowna May 13, 2010

Tard protector

A person paid to keep tards out of harms warms way,keep them reserved in their natural habitat ("learning lab") keep them away from muslim invaders

"o no, muslim invaders call chris the tard protector to ZOOM them of to the learning lab in the tard cart

by c-mill January 23, 2005

Road-Tard

A severe mental disorder where a driver on the road is oblivious to basic motor vehicle operations and rules of the road. This condition affects teenagers to seniors.

Symptoms: Random braking, new driver sign, new driver sign written so badly that it must have been made by kids in play school, cutting you off, staring straight, unable to execute a turn while staying in his/her lane, driving onto incoming traffic...

Side Effects: Causes other drivers on the road massive road rage as well as giving them the middle finger.

Bob: Oh my god that driver just stopped on the freeway with his signal light on trying to get on the off ramp.

John: Typical move by a Road-Tard!!!!

by Evil McBain September 1, 2010

Hot-tarded

Incredibly gorgeous, incredibly dumb.

"OMG, that chick over at the ATM is SO hot!"
"Dude, she thinks it's a vending machine"
"Meh, hot-tarded, but hot"

by jjudy April 29, 2009