Social Media Masturbation

Abbreviated as SMM
The posting of images or statuses to satisfy oneself on social media and gain attention, as opposed to posting anything genuine or important.

She only posts social media masturbation updates, just to make her look better than she is.

by Bearded Prikk October 28, 2022

masturbationer

the game you play where two people masturbate together. also it has to be straight masturbation for it to be the game. no gay masturbation, while female on female is accepted

Dude, lets play masturbationer!

by randy c December 28, 2003

intellectual masturbation

Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.

Ayn: To love is to value.

Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.

Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.

Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.

by Patriot-X April 25, 2010

masturbation

1) Something 11-17 year old guys do because they don't have anyone to have sex with.

2) Something you watch your sister do after she showers

3) A way to get the erection you get every mourning to go away

4) For men, using your hand to cause an orgasm

5) The only sleep over game for boys other than hand jobs.

6) The favorite activity of my both me and my six year old brother.

Jack sat in his room his room, practicing his favorite sport, masturbation, rubbing his hand up and down his cock until his sister walked in and gave him a new means of pleasure.

Dan could withstand the movie's sex scene any loner. He whipped out his pecker and started to masturbate

Brian gave me 510 bucks to let him film me masturbating

by Penusus, The God of Sex September 21, 2006

Masturbation Muscle

When a male has fapped so much, that one arm is bigger than the other one.

Guy 1 "Dude how did Daniel get so buff?"

Guy 2 "Look at his arm."

Guy 2 "It's because he tones his Masturbation Muscle."

Daniel "No! I just workout."

by Lifewithaknife November 1, 2011

Group Masturbation

The act of when multiple (useally the homies) people mainly of groups of three or more masturbate within the same room.

Or in a circle although that is mainly referred to as a circled jerk

Homie #1: group Masturbation begins in eight minutes

Homie #1: Nevermind everyone, Kyle snitched

Homie #2: fuck kyle

Homie #3: yeah that fucking bitch

by BoredToHell2 December 18, 2021

mental masturbation

To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer almost sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation may be the reason for overly complicated and hard to understand solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler and more commonly understood solutions being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.

To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN! Cool huh!"
Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."

by Shylock Merchant September 22, 2008