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Come to Jesus meeting

"Come To Jesus Meeting" "A time when a polite ultimatum is given, generally followed by a less polite ultimatum, then a threat or final option. This is a Texas (or southerner) definition. Usually followed by a parental spanking if issues to a child or an ass kicking if mentioned by a Texan. Other uses include interventions and family/business meetings.
Sir, this is your only option and if you do not want to do this, then you can come down here and we will have a "come to Jesus meeting".
by InkedMayhem November 30, 2016
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mantis attack

Poking or stinging somebody in the ass with a fork
Dude, I just pulled a mantis attack on Jeremy! He jumped like a rabbit when I stinged him.
by bananamantismama October 15, 2011
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mind of mencia

Hands down the worst show/comedian in the history of television/comedy. Carlos Mencia does for comedy what the holocaust did for the jews, except the holocaust wasn't as brutal, it made more sense, and was slightly less of a crime against humanity.

Carlos Mencia's jokes have no range outside of weak observations about race, nor do they contain an ounce of originality. When I talk about the show being a horrendous atrocity, I'm not reffering to the show being overly racist, in fact that has almost nothing to do with it. It's the constructs of the jokes themselves. They're pitiful attempts at humor. They lack any kind of intelligence whatsoever, so little in fact, that his comedy is barely one notch above a clown slipping on a banana peel. 80% of his jokes don't even have a punch line, they are just stereotypes examined to the point of obscurity.

The following paragraph is specifically for Carlos...

Yelling a joke doesn't make it funnier. Doing little twitches while telling a joke doesn't make it funnier. Pointing at the camera or various people in the audience doesn't make it funnier. Laughing hysterically at your own jokes doesn't make them funnier. Relying on stereotypes for 99.8% of your material doesn't make you funnier. Having your own show doesn't make you funny. Your not funny, nor are you by any means a respected comedian, but rather, you are a commercialized joke, a fat vulture feeding on the remains of the Chappelle show. Perhaps when you take the time to construct a joke coherently, rather than fall back on "in-yo-face"-ity, will you truly know what it means to be a comedian.

What's that you say, Carlos speaks the truth? He's brave for saying what we're all thinking and people just need to lighten up? Well then I have good news for all you Mencia fans: We can all be Carlos Mencia! Its easier than you think. Just take a sterotypical topic (like Asian drivers, Black people eating watermelon, or mexicans mowing lawns) and yell it while doing a little dance.

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED ASIANS CAN'T DRIVE!!! DEE DEE DEE!!!!

See? Wasn't that easy? I hope there are enough time slots and paychecks at Comedy Central for all of us.

Mind of Mencia's abnormal success is a dark glimpse into the comedic mind of the American majority (although we all know tv rating systems are inaccurate). To put it simply, it is simplistic, it is comedy (dare I even use that word to describe it) that requires no thinking, intelligence, or taste. The next time you laugh at his quote-unquote "jokes", ask yourself why your laughing. Is it content that is essentially clever and humorous, or is it an exploitation of obvious stereotypes that any person with half a brain can concieve?
As Mother unfastened Baby's diaper and wiped the Mind of Mencia from between his chafed cheeks, an atrocious smell filled the room, suffocating the three of us.
by BryanHep November 9, 2008
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joint subcommittee meeting

Something you say to alert others that you are about to go smoke a J.
Hey boys, It's time for another joint subcommittee meeting
by spanky July 16, 2003
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Carlos Mencia

A man who thinks he's a comedian because he rehashes unfunny versions of jokes he stole from other comedians.

He seems to have delusions of grandeur, as his commercials and joke deliveries convey an attitude of "I'm bad because I said that! You wouldn't have the guts to laugh!" or "If you don't know who I am, you've been living under a fucking rock!"

He's a pathetic little miscreant who gives himself "scary" nicknames like "The Punisher" the way an eight-year-old without any friends would.

He's also half Honduran and half white, pretending to be Mexican when in reality he has no Mexican blood at all. Because of this being part of his thinly-veiled schtick, he overuses the phrases "wetback" and "beaner," trying to be offensive and funny.

The only way he is offensive is because his "comedy" is so painfully unfunny, yet he thinks he's the funniest, most offensive comedian out there.
Bill, "Hey look! Mind of Mencia is on! Carlos is so funny because he says things that are supposed to really offend people!"

John, "Carlos Mencia is not edgy or bad. He's pathetic."
by Someone you'd like to know August 14, 2006
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Fancy meeting you here

1/ A genuine expression of surprise when you meet someone you know in an unexpected place
2/ A sarcastic greeting when you meet up with someone at a previously agreed destination.
Hey, fancy meeting you here!
by Lucothefish December 18, 2008
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town meeting

This phrase was brought about in the time of debates over "Universal Health Care" and the way people behaved in the face of differing opinions.
It means to disagree vehemently, to aggressively object,

to show outrage at another opinion

and to get all up in ones face about it
That ignorant S O B !, I all most had to go all town meeting on his ass !

I'll town meeting your every word unless you start making sense !
by critter getter September 1, 2009
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