Phil: "LeBron James is awesome man. You know, I could have been that good if I had stuck with the game."
Kevin: "No you couldn't have."
Phil: "Dude! I was a big-time NBA prospect before I injured my knee."
Kevin: "No you weren't."
Phil: "Well, no, but I played in college and made it to the NCAA tournament - the big dance!"
Kevin: "No you didn't."
Phil: "No, but my team did play in the little dance and almost won."
Kevin: "No they didn't."
Phil: "No, but I did play in college."
Kevin: "Nope."
Phil: "I mean high school."
Kevin: "Uh-uh."
Phil: "I mean the 8-year-olds league."
Kevin: "No way."
Phil: "Well ok, but I did play in a pick-up game once and scored 10 points."
Kevin: "No you didn't."
Phil: "Well no. How did you know? Is it because I'm white?"
Kevin: "No, it's because you're a one-armed midget. I hate to say it, but basketball just isn't the game for you."
Phil: "Oh yeah, good point. But if I could grow two feet or so - and another arm - then I'd be 5-foot-3 and could be the next Muggsy Bogues."
Kevin: "Nope, sorry. Not a chance."
Phil: "Well I was a world champion in midget tossing...as the projectile."
Kevin: "Now THAT I believe."

PAUL: I'm going to beat your ass.

JACK: Fuck around and find out, fool!