Back Door Gopher

When you wipe your ass with cheap toilet paper and your finger pokes through slightly touching your bunghole and forcing you to wash poop from under your fingernails

Dude wash your fucking hands i can tell you've been getting the back door gopher.

by BarryHalls April 4, 2011

gopher peeking

When you have to crap so bad it feels like you literally have a gopher peeking out your sphincter. Not to be confused with it's cousin, the "frightened turtle."

"I'll be back in a minute. I've got a gopher peeking."

by KWB March 14, 2005

gapperd

n. a person who can't remember something obvious or common knowledge. Someone who doesn't notice or realize something that is right in front of them.

Bennett- What school do I go to again?
Jackie- duh! this is xavier!
Tillea- wow jackie. you're such a gapperd! Bennett is a boy and therefore goes to Brophy! geezz

by Tillahizz February 10, 2009

gopherment

1. a term reflecting the frequent tendency of government officials to suddenly disappear from public view when the spotlight of criticism shines on them, typically for a period of 1-2 days or until someone else's boneheaded antics capture the headlines

2. An instinctive and defensive reaction of an elected official to avoid a "whack-a-mole" reaction by their constituents

"Hey, have you seen Gov Stanford since his "hiking trip" hit the wires?"

"No, he seems to have ducked outa sight."

"Just like a gopherment official. Gone underground until someone else steals the limelight."

by just_warming_up September 2, 2009

gopher mayo

gopher mayo is a phrase to confuse someone with.

"Hey! Gopher mayo!" "What?"

by mary and isabella July 19, 2016

Spooge Gopher

A mess of hair and cum that accumulates in your plughole, after weeks of wanking in the shower.

That spooge gopher in the bathroom actually crawled out and asked me to comment on the duality of man this morning. Clean your bath, man!

by Chiefwiddler2 June 9, 2009

Dirty Gopher

The game of shitting, and then sucking it back into your anus before it can fully leave your body, like that of a gopher leaving it's hole.

Skeet: Yo Jimmy I was hogging the bathroom with Dirty Gophers all night last night

by GasMaskOverdrive December 5, 2017