Ass Shit Express

1.The origin of all things bullshit. The ass shit express causes gas price raises, world hunger, Justin Beiber, etc.

2.The alteration of Ass Shit Express is Shit Ass Express which is what happens after eating some fish nibblers at White Castle.

1. Come on guys we can do this (Sniped in the head) Ass Shit Express god dammit.
2.I didn't come to school on Monday cause i had a case of the Shit Ass Express

by MsmittE October 19, 2011

starlight express

a weird ass musical about trains by Andrew Lloyd Webber. currently has a full time show in Bochum, Germany. There's a train trying to win the love of a carriage but theres also this other guy that already has a girlfriend but still wants to fuck the other carriage and then there's a bisexual one and hes a crackhead and the entire musical as i like to describe it, a porno with no porn, just sexualized trains. (also literally no one knows about it)

person 1: yo, have you seen starlight express
person 2: no what the fuck is that

by the really gay girl April 23, 2020

Daily Express

A British newspaper, founded in 1900. Originally a broadsheet, it has been a tabloid for the past few decades.

The paper was bought by pornographer Richard Desmond in 2000, and since then has been dragged downmarket in an attempt to cut costs. In fact, only 7 headlines are known to exist.

DIANA DEATH
KILLER WEATHER
KILLER/HEALTHY FOODS YOU SHOULD AVOID/EAT
EVIL IMMIGRANTS
CANCER SCARE
HOUSE PRICES
MADELIENE

Stories about DIANA DEATH are usually printed on Mondays as no news ever happens over the weekend in Expressland. The Express will print anything about Princess Diana as front page news.

In August 2007 every headline from August 3 onwards was devoted to the missing toddler Madeleine McCann, often reporting on stories that for some reason the rest of the media would either not both reporting or put in a small column on page 25. The absence of anything remotely resembling Real News has caused many people to worry about the condition of the Daily Express for many years.

Daily Express headlines:
"Diana Death: Diana Was Abducted By Aliens"
"Madeleine"
"Evil Immigrants Are After YOUR Jobs, Middle England!"
"Madeleine"
"Eating Food Causes Cancer"
"Madeleine"
"Killer Weather Causes Drop Of Rain To Fall"
"Madeleine"

by Dai Annafan September 7, 2007

Nigella Express

Nipping downstairs in the middle of the night for a quick wank by fridge light.

Wanking by light for quick gratification "Nigella Express"

by Janinsbrown August 5, 2009

Double Talk Express

Bus that John McCain travels on around the country that delivers Orwellian like double-talk on politics.

From the back of the Double Talk Express he continues to state wild and inane claims such as, "We can only win in Iraq if we stay in Iraq - and we can leave Iraq only when we win in Iraq" (not a direct quote, but paraphrased from his refusal to define "winning in Iraq").

by Cindy McCain August 21, 2008

Murder on the Orient Express

To engage in the act of sexual intercourse during a period of menstruation.

I can't tonight, it'd be Murder on the Orient Express

by steveysham January 20, 2011

.50 Action Express

The .50 Action Express is a powerful rebated rim cartridge developed by Evan Whildin (NOT the Israeli Army)of Action Arms specifically for the IMI Desert Eagle (NOT a close range combat pistol) The rim diameter of the .50 AE is the same as the .44 Remington Magnum cartridge for whcih the pistol was already chambered, consequently only a barrel and magazine change is required to convert a .44 Desert Eagle to the larger, more powerful .50 AE. All Desert Eagle pistols are gas operated automatics with a rotating bolt locking system similar to that found on the AR15 M16 rifles. The recoil of the .50 AE Desert Eagle is roughly approximate to 240 grain .44 magnum ammunition fired from a heavy revolver such as a Ruger Redhawk. Significant but not life changing.

Lamers who have no experience with guns outside of video games should probably not try to write about them.

by Q-Ball September 4, 2005