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Constipater

- noun

Verb
• S: (v) clog, constipate (impede with a clog or as if with a clog) "The road is being clogged by these drivers"

• S: (v) constipate, bind (cause to be constipated) "These drivers have me in a bind"

Adjective
• S: (adj) constipated (have difficulty passing)

A Constipater is a driver that blocks others from passing, usually clogging the fast lane. If a Constipater prevents change of lane by clinging to your blind spot, they may also be referred to as a Dingledummy. Really, any word that has to do with fecal matter applies to traffic blockage.

Often Constipaters are unaware of their surroundings, even if multiple vehicles tailgate and/or pass at higher speeds. But sometimes Constipaters block traffic because:

1. They are people of leisure who have no deadlines or commitments, and for some unknown reason prefer rush hour
2. They are rubber necking
3. They are too lazy to move to a slower lane
4. They think they should enforce the speed limit
5. They think everything in life is a competition and they want to prove they are the winner. These drivers also will cut in front of others, in which case they are simply referred to as shit heads.

The opposite of Constipaters are Diarrhea-Drivers, who speed, tailgate, weave, and may also be a “shit head” by cutting off other drivers. A shit hemorrhage is road rage that occurs due to Constipaters.
I’m going to be late again because of a damn Constipater! This feels like giving birth to a brick – I need a traffic BM!
by ConcealedID July 7, 2009
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Cuntimated

When a person is forced to preform cunnilingus on an unattractive female most likely ridden with disease.
Dude i cant believe you got cuntimated my that fat bitch Brittany!
by TheDeathThrash February 12, 2010
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Constimatic

(adjective) to be so riveted to something that you won't leave it for the world, not even to go to the toilet.

Old English (est. 2015) combination of constipation and cinematic
Wow that movie was so amazing it was practically constimatic!
by foooffun February 5, 2015
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constipated

when you need to take a shit but you cant cus your ass hurts
i need to take a dump but im constipated
by georgy weorgy July 15, 2007
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Constipated wink

Rather than a suave or coy look while winking, you look like you're trying to take a dump instead.
Woman 1: ohh he is cute
(man constipated winks)
Woman 2: uhhh did he wink or shit his pants?
by djtimyd July 18, 2017
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Sexually Constipated

The pain and sadness that results from not performing sexual acts.
" What's up with him?"
"Oh, He's just sexually constipated dude! His girlfriend won't give him any."
by Borta58 December 18, 2012
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Constipated Smile

That awkward half-forced smile you flash people when you want to acknowledge them but don’t want to be bothered to follow with an actual interaction.
“Who is that guy giving you the constipated smile”?

“Oh, he’s our neighbour that just moved in”.
by Enzo Fenucci August 4, 2018
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