Firm Torpedo

The best possible bowel movement one can have. The turd comes out with minimal effort, and is shaped like a torpedo which reduces the need for straining. It has a firm consistency which means it is not soft and runny, nor is it as hard as a rock. It is the type of bowel movement in which only two wipes are necessary. One to clean off residue (even though there isn't any), and another to double check and subsequently confirm ones amazement at how cleanly the turd came out.

I recently have started a high fiber diet. As a result, I have been pooping out firm torpedoes. I have saved a boatload of money on toilet paper.

by AdmiralFerguson November 25, 2009

japanese torpedo

A strange and extremely difficult sex move. It is accomplished by climbing up on the dresser, night stand, or any other elevated platform in the bedroom, screaming “BANZAI!” and jumping off in an attempt to jam the male member into any available orifice.

Tony: I got my bitch with the japanese torpedo!
Adam: Bet she never knew what hit her.

by Mark Barker May 22, 2006

Guido torpedo

Any kind of fast car that a guido would drive or does drive with the tendency to explode when driven into a solid structure at high speeds.

Guido "Did you hear about Kevin"
other Guido"no"
Guido "Well turns out he took out half of rite-aid with his guido torpedo when he was trying to get some hair gel"
other Guido "Fucking waste of a V-dub"

by Dirty Dorian March 29, 2007

torpedo body

A plain straight, skinny body with large neck. The hydrodynamic nature of this body makes one above average at swimming.

Wow, look at that plain bitch. What a torpedo body!

by Torpglorp June 18, 2017

toasty-torpedo

1. Sexual act where the male sticks his penis into a container of hot sauce and proceeds to have anal intercourse with his partner.

2. A sandwich from Quiznos.

Johnson was feeling freaky and gave his wife a toasty-torpedo last night. Now they both are taking milk baths.

by neckwig April 3, 2009

Bath Torpedo

To produce a stool in water. To shit while submerged!

"Dude, the local swimming pool had to get totally evacuated after I released a Bath Torpedo from my brown launcher"

by Dedicated to Lesley! January 11, 2014

Ryan Torres-ing

forcefully grab a female by the waist and face and agressively kisses her

*person in distance sees guy grab girl*
Guy #2: *shouts for all to hear* YO HE IS RYAN TORRES-ING HER

by George Drago March 21, 2019