The Coffey Handshake

The act of placing one's anus on their partners nose and shitting furiously onto their face. This became a common act in Ireland in 1916, when Irish wives would shit on their partners face before they fought the British. A Coffey Handshake is most commonly used nowadays to make sure a partner doesn't cheat on another partner.

As the morning dew settled Bonny sat her greasy asshole on top of Frankie's pointy nose. She then began to release a flurry of shit onto Frankie's face and into his nostrils. This was The Coffey Handshake, so Frankie wouldn't fuck that thot , Paula at work.

"My wife gave me The Coffey Handshake the other night"

by Fannymcfee October 21, 2017

Schlong around the cone

A popular adult party game from the 1970s. Cones are usually provided.

Who's in for a jolly round of Schlong around the cone?

by coneaisseur June 14, 2020

Chemtrails Over The Country Club

New hottest record in the word by Queen Lana

The perfection doesn't exi...
Chemtrails Over The Country Club💗🎀

by mayjailer88 January 14, 2021

The Covid 19

The 19 pounds you gain while in quarantine eating nothing but delivery.

I'll end up gaining the Covid 19 in no time if I keep supporting all these local restaurants!

by artfulmessterpiece March 18, 2020

The College Board

(noun) An evil government conspiracy created by corporate America to test all students "equally" through standards, when really they are creating a social hierarchy between rich kids who can afford tutors and poor kids who cannot. Though deemed a non-profit organization, they use much of the money from their "tests" to eat $1000 plates New York City. They hire evil masterminds to create tests devoted to ruining high schoolers lives by asking them questions on AP tests not pertaining to anything they have learned that year, or for that matter what pertains to doing well in college. They do not grade their supposed tests, and instead give rich kids the better scores allowing rich america to keep going to Ivy League schools, and the poor kids to community colleges. The rest of us receive scores by which The college board hires a room full of monkeys to throw darts at a dart board, and whatever numbers they hit are the scores you receive in the mail.

"Dude I didn't get accepted into any good colleges!"

"WTF? but you have a 4.0!"

"Yeah but The college Board said i got a 1600 on my SATs, apparently I'm not good enough to go to college"

by samuraichikx June 6, 2009

Drinking the Coffee

Trying to fit in by doing something you don't normally do. Most commonly said when an individual pretends to like coffee at work to fit in with coworkers who are drinking it.

Joey: Why is Ryan acting like he knows about cars?

Christian: He's just 'drinking the coffee' to impress them.

by Phantom Joss June 29, 2017

The Conspiracy Theory Against Muffins and Cupcakes

Many people like to say that muffins are ugly cupcakes.
This is my theory:
It is not that muffins are ugly cupcakes, but that cupcakes are altered and frosted muffins. The dye on them refers to tanning and the frosting refers to an excess amount of makeup. Cupcakes are whores in the muffin world, while muffins are pure and natural.

Now tell me, whose the ugly dessert now?

Belle: Muffins > Cupcakes
Monica: Muffins are just ugly cupcakes.
Jared: Actually, cupcakes are just altered muffins with makeup on. I call this the conspiracy theory against muffins and cupcakes.
Belle: So cupcakes are whores?
Jared: That would be weird because cupcakes are inanimate objects. But yes, exactly.

by Jared Stein & Belle Miranda March 25, 2012