soil the mattress

a failure to find a clean solution to a problem with high stakes.

also, a polite way to say someone "shit the bed"

Chip: What took you guys so long?

Paul: Ted shit the bed. He locked his keys in the car

Ted: (no response, because he knows he really did soil the mattress this time)

Chip: fuck. You're such a dumbass.

by MmongerT February 11, 2014

from the soil

One who comes directly from the place being referred to. Where you are from & live.

We been out here kickin it since pampers. We from the soil

by Burnie Sanders June 11, 2016

soil sample

Falling face first in dirt

She took a soil sample when she was running around

by emhgames January 29, 2014

soiled yourself

When someone shits them self.

"I got so wasted last night"
"Aye ana a rember when you soiled yourself"

by EJWWJE December 14, 2013

Soil Tester

A "dirt farmer" that only sticks it in an inch.

(see definition of dirt farmer)

Come on baby, I will only put in the tip, I just want to test the soil. Hence, " soil tester "

by GIS- October 23, 2009

Soil Bandit

(Noun) A person too poor or intelligent to pay for dirt, a common city problem.

Derek and Leyanna were too drunk and poor to buy potting soil so they became soil bandits

by Pabst Pandas March 28, 2010

Soil

A woman's anus particularly when dirty and while having anal sex.

I stuck it in Sheila's Soil last night, it was really stinky!

by Baron Von Whatshisface March 18, 2014