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Mittens Romney

An alien from the planet Purrrfetion. Came to Earth possing as a human child in mexico. Mittens was now Mitt Romney. There was one plan for Mitt, to take over the world so that his people can enslave humanity.

Skip to 2012

Mitt is running a campain to become president of the united states. He takes money from billionaires and promises to let them rape and plunder the country if he wins. Little do they know, but right now behind the moon is an army of cat people ships ready to enslave us all. Will we be Enslaved, or will we unite with our leader President Obama?
"Hey, I heard that Mitt Romney's Real name is Mittens Romney!"
"Really, How funny. Do you think he keeps a giant ball of yarn next to his bed?"
by Pro-Human-anti Mittens October 16, 2012
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Flesh Mittens

To stick both hands in the hooha
I was with these 2 chicks, and I got me some flesh mittens, if ya know what I mean!
by WooftyOne April 28, 2005
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Related Words

Chicken Mittens

I can't get the stink off my hands from my Chicken Mittens.
by SneakyPriest June 28, 2011
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Dick Mitten

adj: a very warm, hair covered vagina.

alcove, bat cave, bear trap, bearded clam, bearded taco, beaver, bermuda triangle, box, bucket seat, cake, chuff box, cockpit, cooch, coochie, coochie-pop, coose, cooter, cooze, crack, crawl space, cum depository, cum dumpster, cuntcake, cunt, cunny, donut, dripping delta, felted mound, fillet-o-fish, finger hut, fish, fish taco, front bum, fly catcher, fuckhole, furburger, garage, gash, gates of Heaven, golden doorway, Grand Canyon, growler, hair pie, heaven's door, hole, honey cave, honey pot, hot box, jaws of Hell, lobster pot, loins, loose meat sandwich, lotus, love box, love canal, lower lips, meat wallet, muff, nooch, nook, nookie, parking spot, peach, pearly panty gates, pocket, poon, poontang, purse, pussy, quiff, quim, rat trap, scratch, sheath, slash, slit, snapper, snatch, space, split, stench trench, tampon socket, temple, thingy, tool shed, tuna, tunnel, twat, undercut, vagina, vertical smile, wishing well, whisker box, womb, x, yoni
My penis was getting cold when your mom was giving me a hand-job so I put it in her dick mitten to warm up.
by David Williams September 12, 2005
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Frosty Mitten Job

A blowjob outside in the snow in the middle of winter while the penis is nearly frozen and the blower is wearing mittens
Hey why are you smiling so big?

Cuz, I just got my first Frosty Mitten Job
by manswer April 29, 2009
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mertender

Someone who takes care of a mermaid, woman with a tail.
That mermaid we hired had such a caring mertender.
by MertenderMatthew July 13, 2017
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mattenklopper

(n) A carpet beater made of rattan or cane and was used in Germany, Netherlands and the surrounding areas. It was primarily used to beat the dirt out of carpets, children and spouses.
"I told my mom to go to hell and she shined my ass with the mattenklopper."
by unclvito November 30, 2017
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