To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!
by lilypotter56 April 19, 2011
Get the The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn mug.The most talented musician to walk the earth in his time. Front man from Muse
The most gorgeous man in the world.
The most gorgeous man in the world.
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"Wow! Matthew Bellamy is hotter in person"!!
"Your looking very Matthew Bellamy today"
by Erin February 14, 2005
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by Kingston's Bitch... November 30, 2013
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Get the matthew yeap mug.Trixie Mattel (Brian Furkus) is beloved drag queen from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Now living in WEHO. She appeared on RuPauls Best Friend Race season 7 and All Stars 3, in which she won All Stars 3 (rightfully so). She also has a hit TV show on Viceland with fellow Drag Race alumnus Katya Zamolodchicova. She uses over the top makeup skills to look like a doll.
by katyasfagash June 3, 2018
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Eccentric, enviously talented, Beautiful, with a knack for saying the right thing at the right time for comic effect or to provoke independant pondering
Eccentric, enviously talented, Beautiful, with a knack for saying the right thing at the right time for comic effect or to provoke independant pondering
"When I think back to how I was in school, it seemed like I wasn't quite there, like my body was doing its thing but my mind was elsewhere. But suddenly I feel like I've come into focus, like I can see things for the first time. It's very strange. I feel.... new born." Matt Bellamy relates these thoughts in the spacious back lounge of their tour bus, while standing on his head with a gold pen stuck up his nose. With any other singer this would seem like another attention seeking affectation; with Bellamy however, it's more an indication of his carefree 'top-of-the-world' state of mind right now."
by Skullz April 3, 2005
Get the Matthew Bellamy mug.Matthew Doughty is the sweetest guy. If you're having a bad day and you run into him, expect him to make you smile. He's also incredibly smart, and doesn't have to try very hard to make crazy good grades. Matthew Doughty, sometimes referred to as "Doughty" is also obsessed with cats. He has a lot of girl friends too, but not because he's a player..or gay..he's just a genuinely sweet guy. Sometimes he will randomly text you just to let you know how wonderful you are because he's good at making you feel special. If you have a Matthew Doughty in your life, keep him around, try not to take him for granted, and make sure you brag on him a lot to random people you know, because he totally deserves it.
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by themostaccurate December 1, 2013
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