guided masturbation

To have someone tell you what to do when you’re touching yourself. They control your movements and direct you on what exactly to do in order to cum.

Jerry and I were having phone sex and we decided to do guided masturbation on me.

by ribbit January 28, 2019

Masturbation Ninja

One who can masturbate/masturbates everywhere they have gone/are without fear of being caught, with any object, without being seen, heard, or others having suspicion of the action of masturbation, any where, any time, and any place.

Student #1: Hey man, I whacked off in biology today.
Student #2: HOLY HELL! Did you get caught?
Student #1: Hell no I didn't, I am a freaking Masturbation Ninja.
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Guy #1: I jizzed all over my friends moms bra last night while he was in the same room.
Guy #2: What!? He didn't see you?
Guy #1: Shit no, he was sleeping.
Guy #2: Good thing you're a Masturbation Ninja.
Guy #1: Damn right.

by gregmastersensai November 20, 2009

Masturbationist

One who masturbates to a professional degree and does so to a professional calibur.

That guy is so good at jerkin' his wang, he's a masturbationist.

by Jonathan Merkel November 24, 2004

Mexican Castration

...can happen as a result of carrying Mexican i.e. sans pistol holster/proper retention device--gun usually tucked into waistband.

Literally: to accidentally blast one's own genitalia off via a negligent discharge of a firearm that is being "carried Mexican."

Mexican castration almost happened to Plaxico Burress when his (.40 S&W) Glock 23 went off and struck him in the thigh at that New York night club because he had his piece tucked into the waistband of his sweatpants. But seriously, despite the fact that he could have shot his own balls off, who wears sweatpants to a nightclub?

by 3^3=27 September 19, 2009

literary masturbation

When someone quotes him or herself.

Yesterday, Brian put his own, apparently funny quote, on his AIM profile. There should be some decency law against literary masturbation like that.

by ricebagg July 28, 2004

Post Masturbation Snooze

The overwhelming tierdness recieved after a very successful session of masturbation. The snooze is used as a way to relax and restore the body to premasturbation state.

Boots:" dam dude that post masturbation snooze had me out for at least 2 hours. it was amazing and my cock feels great."

by jewjewb October 25, 2007

air masturbation

To perform an exaggerated gesture of male masturbation with one's hand in the air in front of oneself. Meant usually as a insult to somebody to whom it is directed, or as a symbol of annoyance at something which has been said. See also am.

Jim: Dude, u sux hardcore at CS!
Bob: Hey Jim, guess what? <performs air masturbation>

by RoboSpy March 22, 2004