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literary masturbation

The act of using unnecessary elaborate speech to convey a simple point, or speaking in a tone that would make you seem like a pompous dipshit.
I recently attended the line at the food product facility, at which I purchased a deliciously decadent three cheese lasagna and a bottle of Spumante.
by Tiki Torch Bob June 19, 2004
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literary crack

A series novel which is poorly written and follows some formulaic structure which may or may not be predictable. Despite knowing that it sucks the reader will become addicted to the series and burn through every book as fast as possible.

If the next book in the series is unavailable the reader will go through withdraw like symptoms until the next book's release date wherein the reader will wrestle and scream and claw their way to the register to purchase said book.
I know that it's bad for me but "Twilight" is my literary crack, I can't help it!
by HaloKun July 30, 2009
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Doki Doki Literature Club

A disturbing game. Just go play the goddamn game. It takes like 4 hours to complete and the game files get shoved around a lot but just play it
Me: Monika is the best girl in Doki Doki Literature Club
Someone: you scare me, is monika controlling you?
Me: no, this is real life dumbass
Them: sounds like something a person being controlled by monika would say
by Crystalgleamisabitch September 12, 2020
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Literary Hard-on

a moment of self-inflection where one has an incredible erection due to use of any variety of literary device. Whether it be verse or a visual representation i.e. movie, video game.
The visual interpretation of The Divine Comedy used in Dante's Inferno the video game gave me a literary hard-on.
by Dexterous Styles February 15, 2010
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Literary Abortion

A piece of writing that is such a failure, it is worse than an abortion.
"So I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me?"

"What are you going to watch? I hope it's not Twilight."

"Dip me in shit and call me Susan, how could you have ever guessed?"

"Well, Twilight is number one in the box office, so its sells went up a lot. The only reason I don't want to watch it is because it was based on the book, which was a literary abortion."
by divineallbeing March 2, 2012
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Literary crush

A special kind of crush on a literary figure, which values them for their wit/cleverness and general ability to impress
I have a crippling literary crush on Philip Roth
by guiliaurbandictionary March 26, 2013
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literary lime

Old French is a literary lime.
by limmeeeeee December 19, 2014
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