infomercial

Something you watch in the wee hours in the morning when you've had too much coffee and stale Timbits to know any better.

Wife: *calls from upstairs* Honey are you still watching those electric ab belt infomercials?
Husband: grrrrrmmmmmmmmmphhhh *drools*

by FuNkY mOnKeY October 15, 2003

infomercialed

When an event happens in an unbelievable comical way, almost to the point it feels unreal that it happened that way.

I found a cute possum outside and went to take a photo. But as I headed outside, I fell down a single step and infomercialed my ankle.

by CoolrUrban February 13, 2019

vaccine informed

A name used by antivaxxers to describe themselves in an attempt to change the narrative around their position from science illiterate to "informed."

Synonyms: antivaxxer, pro-plague, pro-disease.

Oh, look, there is Karen calling herself vaccine informed again. You're an antivaxxer troll, Karen. Go eat some sage.

by Herbie West May 6, 2019

informed ignorance

The seemingly oxymoronic state one holds after being briefed on an important issue that they themselves recognize as deserving of further investigation, and then having made the conscious decision not to learn anything more about it.

Example 1.
Dude A: Hey dude, wanna go to that lecture on the ongoing genocide in Darfur?
Dude B: Nah, no thanks dude. I'm happy with my informed ignorance.

Example 2.
Hippies often try to make you feel guilty about your own informed ignorance.

by outercow April 25, 2009

infomercial zombie

When there is an infomercial and you cant help but to stare and looking like a zombie.

Causing the infomercial zombie effect

Friend 1- So the other day i was about to make out with this girl when i became an infomercial zombie.

Friend 2- Shouldnt have had the tv on

by nando92 July 27, 2010

Infomercial Hands

Hands that can't do anything correctly. Infomercial Hands can't strain a pot of pasta or screw in a lightbulb or push buttons on a phone, so they require the purchase of a new fangled item that will come to the rescue.

Scott: What's with that guy? Why can't he tie his shoes?
Peter: He's suffering from Infomercial Hands. He clearly needs ShoeTie™.

by phalagen June 18, 2013

Infomercial Sapiens

Endangered sub-species of homo sapiens, who due to ineptitude in any given task poses a health hazard to themselves and their surroundings. Often suffers from mal-nutrition, as simple tasks as chopping a vegetable with a knife, results in hospitalization. Also prone to different infections and diseases, as handling used rags, mops and cleaning equipment that's not highly specialized (as promoted in an infomercial), will despite ease of use and common knowledge, be used not only wrongly - but with some sort of health risk. Some cases of hoarding has been observed, but there is yet no documentation of Infomercial Sapiens" being hoarders in general.

UNESCO has put Infomercial Sapiens on the endangered species list, as they will either kill themselves, or die out when streaming of media will remove infomercials from TV-screens.

See also Infomercial People, Infomercial

Karen was so sad to discover her son had the "infomercial sapiens" mutation, and probably only had a couple of years left to live.

by GorramYadda February 9, 2018