French Crumpets

Thinly sliced baguette, often served in France as an alternative to crumpets.

Alan:What the f*** are these?

Marine: Zey are French Crumpets...

Alan:No they're not, they're thin slices of Baguette. This is the shittest teat and crumpets I've ever had.

by Kent from leeds February 12, 2009

Morning Crumpet

An early morning dump. That first pinch of the day. May be one’s daily bowel movement or the morning crumpet may also be part of one’s scat play fetish.

I’m so regular. As soon as I get out of bed I pinch my morning crumpet.

I woke Rachel up this morning by dropping my steaming morning crumpet right on her chest. She loved it. She loves an English Breakfast.

by Eaton Holgoode January 20, 2018

Crumpeting

A British public school tradition generally practised by the upper classes, in which a crumpet is super-heated, covered in butter, and thrust between the buttocks of a chosen schoolboy. Often used as an initiation ritual. The crumpetee is expected to clench the hot crumpet between their buttocks as the butter runs down their backside, burning them. Should they allow the crumpet to fall, a greater punishment is often chosen.

This tradition is also practised among young gentleman's dining clubs and junior commissioned ranks of the military.

"I say, old boy! If Jenkins is to join this dining club, I expect him to tolerate a jolly harsh crumpeting!"

by Gizchern May 14, 2009

crumblette

(noun) : a fragment, especially of something baked (as bread), that is too small to be picked up by pinching between the finger and thumb; a crumb of a crumb

Please wipe the crumblettes off the table.

Person 1: Could someone get me a towel? These crumbs are too small to be picked by pinching them between my finger and thumb.
Person 2: Sure, I'll get you a towel to wipe up those crumblettes.

by Breaker Breaker the Word Maker December 23, 2010

Crumpet bum

Slang used for someone with celulite on their bum, it gives the effect of a crumpet! Also a built up residue of anal crap due to lack of ass wiping abilities

Lad: holly hell look at that crumpet bum over there! She aint been ass wiping

by Jollyrodgerey November 6, 2014

Crumpet cunt

Sticking a buttery biscuit in ur cunt and leaving it there till it goes mushy

Oh wait r u crumpet cunting to Nick crompton

by Holocaust 2 August 23, 2017

Jiminey Crumpets

Simply means "What the Fuck"

John:"Hey man i fucked that chick Molly last night"
Garrick:"I hope you were drunk that bitch looks like a horse!"
Corey:"Jiminey Crumpets!"

by Corey, Garrick, and John September 23, 2007