texas hand grip

Where you jerk a guy off and rub his balls at the same time.

Yeah I gave him a Texas Hand Grip

by Overtime Whore November 8, 2017

Sack-hands

When your hands are wrinkled so much that they start to look like the surface of the scrotum

Person 1: I just got finished with my dishes shift, my hands are so wrinkly!

Person 2: Yeah i hate Sack-hands!

by DeepFriedTeletubby February 13, 2020

shaking his own hand

A somewhat polite term for masturbation

"I opened up the bathroom door and Billy was in there, you know... shaking his own hand..."

by bigmacs November 30, 2013

The Sleepy Hand

When the man falls asleep and the woman uses his flaccid and feeble hand to pleasure herself. This is done to achieve the climax that he was sadly, unable to provide.

"How did it go with Blake?"
"It was absolute shit - he came so quick and then fell asleep immediately. I had no choice but the sleepy hand.....at least that worked."

by Duckworth's reason to live August 24, 2019

semen hand

One's hand after one finishes jacking off.

President Trump jacked off before he gave the State of the Union Address. During his speech Trump was making a lot of hand gestures. Semen was flying all over 'cause Trump did not wash up after spanking the monkey. The Pres had a clear case of semen hand.

by Donald Cowboy Cerrone February 2, 2018

The Hand Man

In card games (ex. Poker, Uno, etc.), The Hand Man is the person who assumes he's got the best winning cards in his hand.

In business, The Hand Man or more commonly known as the Right-Hand Man, is a very important assistant who helps someone do a job.

Example 1, Card Games:
John: " Aw c'mon, my hand is so bad. Well I'm screwed."
Elliot: " Mine is manageable, I wonder who's The Hand Man."
Sarah: " This is an interesting hand..."
Amy: " You guys are so dead, I'm The Hand Man."

Example 2, Business:
Secretary John Wilkins' is The Hand Man of Vice President Elizabeth Fischbach.

by V the Mr. Poetry September 26, 2021

hand-o-saurous

A new type of dinosaur discovered by researchers Elijah Kruse and Blake Sorenson. They discovered the fossils in southern Minnesota along the MN River while on a business trip. And yes, it is purposefully spelled wrong.

Did you see that new Hand-O-Saurous sculpture?

by GoebelBeast December 15, 2017