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John James Autobahn

A famous painter who loved to create magnificent detailed and colorful artwork-renderings of the different makes/models of zippy cars that traverse Germany's high-speed motorways.
Like his well-known feathered-friend-image-painting counterpart, John James Autobahn's one big regret about his work was that he was obliged to bring to a stop and park each of the speedy cars that he "captured on canvas", so that said "subject" vehicle would stay still for him to scrutinize its minute features and reproduce them with his pigments. John was famously known as"the boy who hated garages" --- he felt that these man-made and "confining" monstrosities were all so hideously ugly, and that the fast and nimble "light on their wheels" vehicles he loved were so much more beautiful and delightful to observe when they were out roaming and racing about, just as free as the air they passed through.
by QuacksO April 27, 2019
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John wood

He’s a pussy in every way, and looks like a little faggot boy but it’s okay he’s slow
Look it’s the weird kid John Wood
by ?,? May 13, 2019
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John Willing

A douche that will break a girl's heart.
Stephanie: Hey have you met john willing yet?
Miranda: Yeah! He's a total douche! He told my sister to give him a bj and then left!
Stephanie: Wow, what a cunt!
by Shelbitch November 25, 2013
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John

John is a teenager that is addicted to classic anime and westerns.
He is SUCH a John!
I know right!!
by JoeYabuki December 22, 2018
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John

"What's a john?"
"It's a noun! It's everything!"
by balls in yo jawls <3 November 8, 2023
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John Edward

The ultimate ladies man. We call him the female whisperer. When he whistles, he sounds like a mockingbird. He has the biggest feet. Girls want to suck his toes. He looks like the person that would get face tattoos.
He is John Edward
by John Leary March 29, 2019
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John

The total dumb ass that eats your bagel
Richard: What the frickle frackal why are you eating my bagel?!
John: YEET
by John_will_eat_your_bagel May 17, 2020
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