Malcolm’s Law 

Very similar to Murphy’s Law or Sod’s Law, but with one important difference. Instead of “if something can go wrong it will do”, it now becomes ”with a Malcolm on the project it won’t just go wrong, but it will go wrong in the worst possible way.” See also Finagle’s Law.

“It’s a total disaster; there is no way that it could possibly have happened!”
“With that Heale Malcolm involved what did you expect? It’s Malcolm’s Law, mate.”

Malcolm’s Law by AKACroatalin August 17, 2016

Forsens Law

According to Forsen's law, the end portal is always 5-7 rooms far from the base staircase (not counting darksouls walls or stairs and any scuffed stronghold is disqualified). 󠀀

Dude, you have to follow forsens law if you wanna find the end portal.

Forsens Law by Emer1x November 12, 2020

The Law of the Lemon 

The Law of the Lemon — The first law and the first proof of the existence of sympathetic magic. This is an especially powerful illustration to use on a person who claims that magic doesn’t exist; that free will can overcome anything, and that magic will not work on them.

Have that person engage all five senses in the visualization of a lemon imagining every quality a lemon possesses. Infuse this memory with pleasant and unpleasant experiences that they associate with lemons. When the visualization becomes firm tell them to bite the lemon. At this point most people will experience a bitter taste in their mouth and they will salivate even though no actual lemon is there.

If the person does not salivate, you have unmasked a more powerful magician than you are.

Mess around and find out.

The first proof of sympathetic magic is The Law of the Lemon: if you engage the five senses in the visualization of a lemon and deeply imagine it’s smell, color, texture, and the sound of your hand sliding over the lemon you will salivate and experience a bitter taste in your mouth if I tell you to bite into the lemon once the visualization is well established.

Mess around and find out.

If you understand this law well, you can even curse someone’s balls and make their babies crosseyed.

The Law of the Lemon by Mind Hunter the Profiler March 15, 2023

Pyke's Law 

For every good event or thing that happens, something equal to or worse will counter it.

I hate Pyke's Law, I got my new drivers license, but now my grandma died.

Pyke's Law by dalek1111 July 22, 2020

harambe's law 

Harambe's Law

"You are a racist/sexist/xenophobe/homophobe/abelist" is code for "you are winning this argument, and I hate you for that."

The first person in a discussion to call someone Racist, Sexist, Xenophobic, Homophobic or another pejorative term is deemed to have automatically lost the discussion because they have admitted they have no facts or logic to support their position, and thus resort to name-calling to silence further embarrassment.

"I voted against Hillary because she is a greedy, ambitious, government drone."

"You're racist for supporting Trump!"

"Harambe's Law prevails. YOU GET NOTHING. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY, SIR!"

harambe's law by Benny1985 November 15, 2016

Bausen's Law 

According to Thebausffs' "Bausen's Law", in League of Legends, every plate is a kill and every turret two kills.

"So I'm 2/4.. But i took four plates, plus the turret.. So, according to Bausen's Law, I'm actually 8/4 would you look at that"

Bausen's Law by trwygon April 7, 2023

Horton’s Law 

Politicians can be counted on to keep all their bad promises, and abandon all their good ones.

Of course Trump is adding to the debt and hasn’t passed any progun legislation, it’s Horton’s law.

Horton’s Law by Moa_wearemoa June 28, 2019