frosty hand job

The act of submerging your hand in ice water until it becomes numb and then jerking yourself of while watching the Frosty the Snowman special.
Properly executed you should get the feeling you are being given a hand job by a frozen corpse.

By night 2 of being lost in the snowy forest Timmy resorted to a frosty hand job which reminded him of the many loveless nights with his ex.

by Jarenticus December 18, 2017

Prairie Hand Pie

While strolling through a grassy knoll and the sudden urge to relieve your bowels hits with extreme force. With no place to actually relieve yourself (out of fear of snakes, poisonous plants, and dysentery), your only option is to reach back and feel the warmth of yesterday’s meals filling your cupped hands.

I should have known that rancid bison meat I had last night would lead to a fresh prairie hand pie this morning.

by Ollieoz June 8, 2019

appetized hands

Hands with the appetite to masturbate. Usually caused by a boner.

If you have a boner and appetized hands, be careful if you wish to masturbate.

by ManMan36 May 24, 2016

Polish Hand Grenade

A solid shit that is propelled out of your butthole by a stream of hot diarrhea.

Haley was so mad at the barista she unleashed a Polish Hand Grenade at the bathroom walls.

by kungfumelissa January 17, 2021

Dorito Hands

The condition you get when after you finish eating a bag of Doritos and you have Dorito crumbs all over your hands.

The only ways to fix this is either wiping it off on your pants or licking your hands until all the crumbs are gone.

Person 1: Hey man, why's your PlayStation controller all greasy?
Person 2: Oh, it's the Dorito Hands, man.

by hso_00 October 4, 2018

Ham Handed

Being clumsy when handling things...moving things...setting them down, etc....Knocking things over, spilling things, dropping things.

I went to move my bowl of tomato soup, I caught my finger on the edge of the countertop, and spilled my soul all over the floor....I don't believe how Ham Handed I've been lately.

by I made the man December 13, 2024

Fuzzy Hand Brake

Receiving a hand job from get a milf in the back seat of her late model 2 door coup with bead seat covers.

I went to see Alice, but her kids were home so I only got a fuzzy hand brake.

by Donald Milhaus Trump November 8, 2019