Table Simping

The act of being submissive to a person simply because they bought a table at a nightclub. Typically occurs when a dude with daddy's money isn't funny or capable of speaking to women, so he spends $5-10k on a table and invites a hot girl with 30+ bodies to stand next to him at his table. The girl wears a slutty cocktail dress and the guy wears ripped light wash jeans, Yeezy's, a gold chain on the outside of his shirt, and a black t-shirt so tight it might as well be painted on. The entire concept is adjacent to prostitution. It's an easy way for beta men to fuck a whore without 'technically' paying for it.

"Hey friends, I was thinking of having a group dinner at my place this Thursday. Maybe cook up some chicken parm and sip some wine while we watch the sunset! Are you interested?"

"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."

by artfuldodger69 August 19, 2022

Table-ussy

A whole in a table with soap in a hole making a Table-ussy

bro in my class there is a "table-ussy"

by OWENWWWWWWWW September 1, 2022

Bobby Tables

DROP TABLE (
SELECT table_name
FROM information_schema.`TABLES`
WHERE table_schema = 'myDatabase' AND table_name LIKE BINARY 'del%');

XKCD Comic # 327
Sanitize your DB Inputs Bobby Tables Comic

by Fritzwastaken September 3, 2022

table for hov

Table for hov; When you dine alone & book a restaurant for your lonely self as your friends are non- exsistant or your group can’t decide on take away always that one friend that wants to eat at that same crusty spot, get your self a table for hov then.

Caller; Hi can I get a table for hov please?

Restaurant; You again? Of course you can you lonely fuck, mates bailed out on you again?

by LGS RAVES November 23, 2022

I table

When a person thinks hes a table (something really common)

Me:hey timmy how ya doing?
Timmy:i prefer not to be called "timmy" i table now.

by Uncanny April 23, 2022

Table Shark

A server that will do their best to get as many tables as possible. This may be by seating themselves, taking over tables, changing rotation, etc. They want all the business to themselves.

I haven't made any money, Brenda's being a table shark and making all the tips!

by Yu-Gi-Oh Cardi B January 2, 2022

Table Kink

Having a table kink is when sexual intercourse occurs on ones table, enhancing the arousal even more due to the individuals desire to be fucked/fucking on a table

I would like to try out my table kink

by slut4urmom May 30, 2022