An increasingly large minority in the UK, Chavs are often found outside McDonald's by day, occasionally entering to buy 99p cheeseburgers to feed their colony. They are also sometimes found in parks and on benches, especially during mating season. Mating calls typically sound like:
"You got a problem wiv it bruv?"
"OOOOOOOOh! OOOOOOOOOH!"
"We all got swag innit?"
Once a chav has found a chavette mate, typically chosen by how orange her skin is, he will use his aggressive benefits abuse to buy a clapped out Vauxhall Corsa, fit it with mufflers and false alloys, and use it to ease the burden of migration to the corner store every morning, whereupon he will buy a six pack of beer and head on down to McDonald's to meet up with the rest of the pack.
But it is the evening where the chav becomes most notorious. They are known as nocturnal hunters, found on streets late at night and preying upon those who are alone and vulnerable. Once a target has been spotted, the pack will converge upon it, steal all of its valuables and leave Unlike a pack of wolves, however, chavs are well known cowards and rarely operate alone.
By the time the chav is in his mid twenties, he will probably have a small litter of chav children. They will live off benefits, growing in size and weight until it is time for school. The parent will neglect the journey to school and so the child's life becomes too certain. By the time said child is 11, It will be adopted into the chav lifestyle.
"You got a problem wiv it bruv?"
"OOOOOOOOh! OOOOOOOOOH!"
"We all got swag innit?"
Once a chav has found a chavette mate, typically chosen by how orange her skin is, he will use his aggressive benefits abuse to buy a clapped out Vauxhall Corsa, fit it with mufflers and false alloys, and use it to ease the burden of migration to the corner store every morning, whereupon he will buy a six pack of beer and head on down to McDonald's to meet up with the rest of the pack.
But it is the evening where the chav becomes most notorious. They are known as nocturnal hunters, found on streets late at night and preying upon those who are alone and vulnerable. Once a target has been spotted, the pack will converge upon it, steal all of its valuables and leave Unlike a pack of wolves, however, chavs are well known cowards and rarely operate alone.
By the time the chav is in his mid twenties, he will probably have a small litter of chav children. They will live off benefits, growing in size and weight until it is time for school. The parent will neglect the journey to school and so the child's life becomes too certain. By the time said child is 11, It will be adopted into the chav lifestyle.
RUTTING CHAV: "fuck off you wanker is my turn" "No it bloody well isn't" (fight ensues) "ow fuck off mate thats my stomach you just shanked"
MATING CALLS: "OOOOOOH!" "arright love lets fuck this bench ey"
MUGGING: "lets shank and fuck this old bitch up ey" "Give us yer purse or wee fuck you up real good arright?"
FLEEING FROM THE LAW: "Ayyy its the bloody cops run" "eyyy shit theys onto us lads" "Ow duck he got me boys"
AT HOME: "yeah im going on COD Ghosts, bought with the Xbox One using the taxpayer's money"
MATING CALLS: "OOOOOOH!" "arright love lets fuck this bench ey"
MUGGING: "lets shank and fuck this old bitch up ey" "Give us yer purse or wee fuck you up real good arright?"
FLEEING FROM THE LAW: "Ayyy its the bloody cops run" "eyyy shit theys onto us lads" "Ow duck he got me boys"
AT HOME: "yeah im going on COD Ghosts, bought with the Xbox One using the taxpayer's money"
by King Horace IV December 31, 2013
An alien-like subspecies of human who disguise themselves as a member of the British Population.
Commonly found speaking Chavish (A Language Based on English Slang terms with a heavy accent)
Chavs can commonly be found dwelling outside of a corner shop clutching a 35p energy drink (or some kind of alchohol) or At a local park, usually injecting or smoking something
Commonly found speaking Chavish (A Language Based on English Slang terms with a heavy accent)
Chavs can commonly be found dwelling outside of a corner shop clutching a 35p energy drink (or some kind of alchohol) or At a local park, usually injecting or smoking something
by ItsJayJack October 13, 2019
A chav is someone you don't want to get involved with. If you do, you will have grand-children before the age when you even wanted your own kids. Here are the signs you will need to keep a look out for:
1. They begin to drop their T's from words.
2. They ask everyone who walks past if they have a spare fag.
3. They begin to travel around in larger groups thus to overpower us normal people.
4. No, they are right about everything because school is for idiots.
5. That tracksuit cost £200 quid mate, they often say things like this "don't look at what you can't afford".
6. They pick fights with you just for the sake of it, often by doing this "Oh don't I know you".
7. Pregnancy at a young age is a big tradition.
8. Of course they have parents to tell them to stop, but they're too busy being Chavs themselves to give a shit.
If you spot any of these points, your best bet is to run, hide or get your gun.
To report whether you have a Chav in your local area please call 111 or #Theresonestillalive@(whereyoulive).
Thanks for reading... and be safe.
1. They begin to drop their T's from words.
2. They ask everyone who walks past if they have a spare fag.
3. They begin to travel around in larger groups thus to overpower us normal people.
4. No, they are right about everything because school is for idiots.
5. That tracksuit cost £200 quid mate, they often say things like this "don't look at what you can't afford".
6. They pick fights with you just for the sake of it, often by doing this "Oh don't I know you".
7. Pregnancy at a young age is a big tradition.
8. Of course they have parents to tell them to stop, but they're too busy being Chavs themselves to give a shit.
If you spot any of these points, your best bet is to run, hide or get your gun.
To report whether you have a Chav in your local area please call 111 or #Theresonestillalive@(whereyoulive).
Thanks for reading... and be safe.
What a chav would say:
"Yes, do you wanna go in there and buy us some vodka mate"
"Oh boys, this lady said she'll get us some fags"
"Yeah this will be my 5th kid now ineh"
"Narh no luck down the jobs office today lads, it's hard yano"
"Yes, do you wanna go in there and buy us some vodka mate"
"Oh boys, this lady said she'll get us some fags"
"Yeah this will be my 5th kid now ineh"
"Narh no luck down the jobs office today lads, it's hard yano"
by Unilady16 April 05, 2016
Chav - thought to come from the town Cheltenham, where the private school girls would use the term chav to describe the locals of Cheltenham, short for Cheltenham average. Typically drinking energy drinks on street corners, wearing track suits but never exercising, having greasy hair (which a girl would have in an excessively tight pony tail)
by Poshgirl1 February 02, 2016
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If a chav steals your bike, break his legs. Two birds, one stone; you get your bike back and society gets a little bit better.
by Modex November 21, 2022
A parasitic infection originating in Northern England, but has spread to the whole country and beyond. Chavs will try to mark their territory by attempting to chip down the concrete curb with a hammer to make it easier for Siamese-strollers to get up and down on their daily trips to McDonalds.
by Percy Thrillington September 24, 2020
Scruffy anti social no brains who congregate on street corners of working class communities in the UK, chavs dress in the latest scrubber gear from sports direct such as joggers (sweat pants) and hoodies. They think they look the dogs bollocks but they actually look like scruffy cunts.
Chavs try and intimidate people on the streets, usually when said individual is on their own. when not in a gang, and on their own, they will shit themselves if confronted. Chavs make money by dealing drugs, mugging old grannies and thieving.
Chavs are a disgrace to decent working class people.
Chavs try and intimidate people on the streets, usually when said individual is on their own. when not in a gang, and on their own, they will shit themselves if confronted. Chavs make money by dealing drugs, mugging old grannies and thieving.
Chavs are a disgrace to decent working class people.
by bigdave12345 May 13, 2018