Condom Swipe

The act of wraping a plastic bag over a debit card. The condom swipe is necessary after two to five tries of swiping a debit card through a machine that repeatedly declines the transaction.

(7-11 cashier 1)- four thirty five sir.
(customer)- on debit.
(7-11 cashier 1)- debit? *swipe... swipe... swipe...brushes card on uniform...swipe...
(7-11 cashier 2)- give it the condom swipe.

by Dusty Ballz October 19, 2010

shit swip

The act of accidently or inadvertantly shitting on your finger unknowingly and subsequently smearing the residue across your trousers.

Tim: what's that smell
Jim: sorry, I had to shit swip, the water was broken and it had run out of toilet roll.

by DAISYDAISYiPlay March 23, 2011

Blind Swipe

When you have no idea how much money is left in your bank account, but you go ahead and use it anyway. The Blind Swipe is always accompanied by a sense of terror until you see the word "Approved".

Female Roommate: We REALLY need toilet paper, and you said you would buy it this time!

Male Roommate: I've just been shitting at work.

Female Roommate: Goddammit, I have no idea how much money I have, I'm gonna have to Blind Swipe it. I hate you.

by acrobatcat September 27, 2012

poon swipe

to graze her vagina in an upward fashion

rather than a handshake or a kiss on the cheek, i prefer to give her a poon swipe

by suicidalgecko December 19, 2013

one swiper

The rare occurrence of only needing one swipe of toilet paper to completely clean your arse after taking a shite.

Jim: "How did that shite go for ye?"

John: "Great, it was a one swiper"

Jim: "Can't bate them"

by rupertthebear March 13, 2014

safety swipe

A match made on Tinder with a person you only thought was kind of cute instead of the person you really wanted to match with. Alternately, a match with a thottie instead of a hottie.

Man, I keep getting matched with all my safety swipes.

by clutchins July 2, 2015

Kentucky swiss roll

When you put shit around your cock as lube and fuck a girl with it til you cum. The cum is icing and the shit is cake.

Man last night your sister asked for a kentucky swiss roll.

I heard that bitch has a fetish for kentucky swiss rolls.

by Thefunnyman25 July 22, 2016