It is believed that Jesus is a potato. He infact was not human like the
bible sugests. Pages were ripped out of the original
bible with all of the information and proof that Jesus was a potato. They have been recovered and the pages are believed to be Salt and Vinegar flavoured.
God knew that potato's were a superior species to humans and a
perfect vessel for our savior. The human that claimed he was jesus was nailed to a cross for his stupid ideas, the real jesus "Potato Jesus" revived
fake jesus being sympathetic to the pathetic human.
Potato Jesus' whereabouts are unknown but philosophers believe he built a Spud
bag mothership and ventured onward to the world ruled by potatos and where humans are grown in the ground.