"If you aren't in a hurry to leave the store, there will be little or no delay in getting a clerk to ring you up. But if you're pressed for time --- or even more so, if you're car-pooling with someone who is on a tight schedule --- THAT'S when there will be hold-ups galore... a long line in front of you, a customer with one or more heaped-full shopping-carts, one or more price-discrepancies that hafta be tediously resolved (i.e., the puzzled clerk is obliged to walk back with you to the shelf to look at the price-labels, a supervisor or the store-manager has to be called over), a balky card-scanner, etc."
Whenever someone who's giving me a ride is kind enough to let me stop at a store to grab a few items, I always try to make very sure that I have everything all "set and prepared" before I head to the register, so that I personally seldom create a problem (i.e., cause any delays myself with issues like not having the proper payment ready or being unsure of a price or quantity) with Murphy's Law of Checkout-Lines. That way, even if my driver has to wait linger than expected for me to hastily scamper back outside with my loaded shopping-bags, he won't be able to direct his impatient frustration at me --- "Sorry for the delay; I did indeed get everything tossed in my cart very quickly, but there was a long line in front of me, and they were short-staffed today, so they only had once register open."
by QuacksO October 31, 2019
Similar to the old "wax your car if you want it to rain" joke, this saying reads: "It can be mild and sunny for days on end, but then just as soon as you hang out a whole bunch o' laundry to dry, THAT'S when da sun will abruptly disappear behind huge dark clouds and you'll have a bleepin' MONSOON FOR A WEEK!"
The weather had been totally "bright 'n' balmy" for a good while, and so one afternoon last week I tried to save money and electricity by using my clothesline instead of the watts-sucking dryer, but then it rained heavily during the night, and it's been foggy and drizzly ever since! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law of Clothes-drying" to me.
by QuacksO October 30, 2018
The theory that when we accidentally drop an object (where ever we happen to be at the moment) it no doubt falls or rolls to the farthest, unreachable place. It is a mysterious theory that never fails to happen.
I was putting on my make up and my lipstick fell on the floor. Murphy's Far Falling Unreachable Theory kicked in because it was no where to be found. I had to hunt and excavate the room in order to finally find it behind the dresser under the rug.
by annieoakley August 07, 2010
"You can keep purchasing small costlier-per-piece packages of a product till Doomsday, and you will always continue needing a sizable amount/quantity of it per week/month/year. But then just as soon as you plunk down a tidy sum for an economy-priced bulk-quantity of said commodity, your needs and/or lifestyle will immediately change, and so now you will likely never even begin to consume that much volume in your entire lifetime."
For example, you purchase several cases of plain white paraffin candles for your antique chandelier that you love to illuminate every evening, only to then discover that an electric-candle "upgrade" kit is available, and comes with fixtures that look just like the elegant candles and fit perfectly into your chandelier's holders! So now you're stuck with many hundreds of little white-wax tapers that you'll probably never have any use for.
For example, you purchase several cases of plain white paraffin candles for your antique chandelier that you love to illuminate every evening, only to then discover that an electric-candle "upgrade" kit is available, and comes with fixtures that look just like the elegant candles and fit perfectly into your chandelier's holders! So now you're stuck with many hundreds of little white-wax tapers that you'll probably never have any use for.
I feel like such a total bulk-buying buffoon --- I had been consuming several expensive plywood-cutting circular-saw blades per year in my household woodworking-tasks, and so eventually I had purchased a bargain-priced fifty-pack of only-minutely-rusty "new old stock" Skilsaw-blades from a private seller on E-Bay. But then I had started using a larger-bladed table-saw for most of my panel-slicing/trimming needs, and so I've only used one or two of the circular-saw blades from the package in the many months since that time! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law Of Buying In Bulk" to me!!!
by QuacksO August 08, 2018
"You can apathetically sit around the house for hours, and the weather will be sunny and mild. But then just as soon as you actually manage to groggily struggle up off'n yer but and head for the door to be productive with outdoor activities, it will either start raining, the temps will soar/plummet, or the breeze will die down and allow black flies and mosquitoes to swarm you."
I am a long-term vicitim of Murphy's Law of Weather vs. Gumption, so I employ the unconventional strategy of working naked outdoors (long live tall dense shrubbery along the road out front!) so that I can feel cooler and move about more easily than I could with restrictive clothing, and thus I am able to strugglingly get work done during more-favorable weather, even when I strongly don't feel like it.
by QuacksO September 12, 2019
"You can follow an 'unpopular' method or procedure 'till da cows come home' and nothing unusual will ever happen to 'justify' or 'vindicate' your unorthodox actions (and you'll likely get continually criticized by others for your chosen behavior), but then the ONE TIME when you eventually 'cave' and actually DO happen to follow the 'standard' or 'acceptable' protocol, THAT'S the solitary 'rogue occasion' when disaster will happen to strike --- something really bad will happen that would not have occurred if you had simply continued to follow your own 'pet' procedure that had seemed better/safer to begin with!"
My "super-long-term-driving-experienced" aunt had gotten fed up with my "back-seat driver" attempts to be helpful by telling her about vehicles that I'd see moving around fairly near our position when we'd be travelling someplace in her car, and so she had eventually asked me to just keep quiet and let here handle the driving herself. Well, of course, within a day or two, Murphy's Law of Exceptions decided to turn and bite me in da butt --- due to a view-obstructing sidewalk-mounted ad-sign, my aunt didn't notice an approaching car, but I did... naturally, that was the ONE TIME that I **didn't** tell her about it because she'd specifically asked me to keep my trap shut on instances like that, and so I'd ASSUMED (there's that word again!) that she'd observed the vehicle bearing down on the intersection. Well, as you might expect, we crashed, and there were multiple injuries in the other car! Can't win...!
by QuacksO March 09, 2019
starred in a game show called swashbuckle. she didn't actually thats a lie. shes proper lanky though
by yohohoho May 23, 2022