No hands mommy

When you take a piss and don't wash your hands because you didn't touch tour penis

Friend: Ew did u just take a piss and not wash your hands
Me: No I just did no hands mommy
Friend: What that
Me: When you don't touch your penis when u take a piss
Friend: OOOOOHHHHH okay, let me try

by XxHeY_FrIeNdzXx September 8, 2016

Switch-handed

When someone uses different hands for different tasks, instead of the same dominant hand for everything.

I’m not ambidextrous, I’m switch-handed — I write with my left hand but shoot basketballs with my right

by Andy the sim September 4, 2025

Ole Pee Pee Hands

An individual who accidentally spills a urine sample on their hands and is so dumb someone has to tell the individual to go wash their hands.

“Did you see Ole Pee Pee Hands trip up the stairs and spill that hot piss all over his hands?”

by Wild turkey 193 April 10, 2019

The pimp hand

The act of possible discipline to be administered at work.

If Bob doesn't start getting things right in his department, "the pimp hand" is going to come down!

by DJPTRSN January 18, 2012

Ailien Hands

Generative AI image of hands that contain non-human like features.

Check out the ailien hands on that hound dog.

by MrJangles1969 April 28, 2023

hand mullet

If you have a pregnant wife you know what I mean.

I have grown a hand mullet due to a lack of sexual participation from my pregnant wife.

by susil19 June 2, 2016

Hand hygiene audits

This thing that hospital admin makes people do sometimes where we “need” to take valuable time out of our work day to narc on people not washing their hands efficiently.

Me writing one if I actually filled them out: “so I stalkerishly followed a nurse into the bathroom and while I was pretending to take a piss I was actually singing happy birthday in my head to see how long she washed her hands for. And I got to that 🎶🎶 “happy birthday dear fuck you” 🎶🎶🎶 but I didn’t quite get to that last “happy birthday to you” verse.

Signed, my hand hygiene audits of April 4th 2023

by Sacredfart April 4, 2023