Standard Time

The sense of time we used to experience, as we tried and failed to reclaim it on November 1, 2020.

She awoke on November 1, 2020, eight months into Covid world, four years in the Trumpian alternative universe, and found herself trying to name the daze of the week, wondering how many of them until November 3, 2020, when something or nothing might change, maybe a few months or hours, who could say, and was reminded that she was back on Standard Time. It sounded so nice. She was sure it used to mean something...

by Monkey's Dad November 1, 2020

The Chair Standard

The amount of time it takes for gently used office chairs to be spoken for after an email is sent to accounting office staff announcing the chairs are available for exchange. Approximately 15 minutes per dozen chairs. Krispy Kreme donut standard is 1 hour per dozen.

The Krispy Kreme donuts don't meet the Chair standard.

by Athos2 November 10, 2021

Double standard

When someone lives to excess and has nothing but expanding dollar signs/becoming powerful (in real estate or new development, for example) on their mind, but also wants to wrap their tentacles around conservation efforts and humanitarian causes (such as social justice, income equality, sustainable energy, and a bunch of other issues they don't even hold sacred) to cover their tracks (and get credited for positive things) in case anybody questions (or stands up to) them.

The dorky bubbly girl claming to be a humanitarian and conservationist was one of the main reasons a lot of trees were missing, but she was too busy poking fun at other people's double standards to notice her own. She thought that humans were too responsible for global warming because she thought everyone else was trying to dominate or control the world's resources to the extent (excesses) that she was. She was arrogant enough to believe humans caused the last ice age, and that they were the sole reason for global warming, and the worst thing about somebody like her was that she didn't know it, she only saw arrogance in other people, which is the worst kind of arrogance, complete and total narcissism (the kind of narcissism that also only sees narcissism in others). The planet wasn't going to miss her when she was no longer a part of it and it's problems, but she would never see that either, because she had convinced the planet and the people living on it that they somehow needed her.

by The Original Agahnim November 23, 2021

Double standards

When females do something that is not the same with guys.

Girl talking to another girl: “OMG GURL UR GORGEOUS IF YOU HAD MEAT I WOULD EAT IT UP🤤🤤”
Guy talking to another guy: “MAN I WANNA SLAP U IN THE FACE WITH MY MEAT”
Girl: “EWW what the hell?”
Guy: i’m sorry ma’am now would you like turkey or ham?” -double standards.

by Realshit76 June 12, 2023

the standard

beomgyu

"Beomgyu is the standard."

by beomgyusnovia December 8, 2021

Scout Standards

How to rate little girls on their looks ;)

She's good-looking by Scout Standards lad

by doesnttouchballs69 May 27, 2021

Double standard

Different people held to different standards.

Nothing he/she did was ever lecherous, but if some else did the same thing as him/her, it was called lechery. No amount of celebration was excessive enough for him/her, and it was never called gloating when he/she did it, but if somebody else did it, it was always called gloating. He/she never did anything by a double standard, but was quick to try and tease or poke fun at the double standards of others.

by The Original Agahnim December 16, 2021