spiked through the net

When your boy bums you so hard that the condom breaks when he busts in your booty.

Nate: Yo Andy, why's your booty dripping?
Andy: Awe Frick! Max must have spiked through the net again...
Max: Sure did Andy. Sure did.

by cuckfart October 13, 2020

Net jetsetter

An internet user not defined or confined by their location.

That person has so many different language videos on their YouTube channels. Such a net jetsetter.

by ruby_wednesday May 9, 2015

MAGA-net

a person deliberately blocking traffic (typically referred to as a dumbass) to protest any and everything Trump says or does, causing them to automatically become magnetic to vehicles trying to go about their day, without unsolicited delay

I was on my way to work when I was stopped by a group of MAGA-nets blocking the intersection. My car was automatically attracted to the MAGA-net, which promptly cleared my path as the bounced off my bumper and quarter panels like balls in a pinball machine.

by anonymous November 13, 2025

a**h**e safety-net

A.k.a. "a**h**e insurance". Refers to where you habitually bring a really intolerably-obnoxious human along with you on potentially-dangerous excursions, such as on an airline-trip, into battle or a "bad" part of town, on a road-trip through natural-disaster areas like flooding or rock-slides, into a hazardous-materials area, etc., to better your own chances of survival. The theory behind this practice, of course, is that whenever there is a widespread catastrophe or other mass-annihilation incident, statistically the "nice" folks are usually the ones who get killed, while the super-nasty inhabitants in the disaster-area invariably seem to escape with little or no injury. So the obvious conclusion would be that if you "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" (i.e., always stay right next to the acridly-antisocial hombre who's accompanying you), the Fate gods --- who apparently like and favor the mean folks, since they always seem to spare them --- will be hesitant to allow anything harmful to occur in your vicinity, since they would not want to risk harming or killing one of their precious meanie-jerks, as well. Simple, but effective, and a lot cheaper and more reliable than buying death/accident-insurance.

The concept of the "a**h**e safety-net" is nothing new --- it's actually just kinda the reverse of taking hostages: while the latter involves keeping desirable people close to you so that their fellow humans will not send bullets or bombs your way for fear of hurting their abducted loved ones, the former strategy also utilizes the "human shield" concept, but in the exact opposite way... no respectable human being would give a rat's a** if your cranky-natured companion were eliminated ("Good riddance!"), but the Gods of Fate would indeed wish to maintain the well-being of such miscreant, and so they will feel forced to let you live on, as well.

by QuacksO July 23, 2019

nigger net

An internet service that performs poorly in terms of speed, reliability, or consistency. Often associated with the poor quality connections niggers typically have or can only afford.

*Playing Halo and it is lagging*

Oh fuck I have nigger net.

by SuperLascivious July 13, 2025

net thuggin

someone who talks hella shit on social network but can’t own up to shit in person and ain’t bout it

“Lmao look at that bitch net thuggin, but she quiet in person”

by imdatBITCHx2 November 7, 2018

Butterfly Net

A hypothetical device that a medical professional would use to capture and detain the mentally disturbed.

I saw Jonathan running around the park chasing squirrels - someone needs to get the Butterfly Net out.

by My urban definitions June 12, 2024