Laser-Ham

Dear god, if you're looking this up it may already be too late for you. They are the dark ones, the decimators, the destroyers of civilization. The only actual sighting of them has reported them to look like abnormally large pieces of ham with glowing red eyes, who can shoot lasers strong enough to cut through anything. It's believed that the Bermuda Triangle is actually a den to these creatures, and the triangle is formed by three stationed hams firing lasers. They are commonly reported at redacted but seem to disappear by the time anybody arrives. One citizen who claims to have seen the Laser-Hams claimed that they were ruled by an "AbraHAM Lincoln", an Abraham Lincoln who much resembles our own, but instead has a piece of ham around his right eye, which is replaced with a glowing crimson one. It is not proven true or false if this entity exists yet.

Doomed person 1: "Dear god, the Laser-Ham, they're coming!"
Doomed person 2: "What's that? Are you insane?"
*Laser sounds and screaming of doom*

by The Drawer Goblin February 28, 2021

ham chandelier

What The lips of the vagina are called after they have been irritated from such things as bike riding or riding a mechanical bull for long periods.

Is your ham chandelier upset because of your spin class?

by T2216639 November 13, 2016

Ham Skin

Foreskin of an uncircumcised penis.

I like pulling my ham skin.

She was turned off by my ham skin. She likes cut.

Are you cut or uncut? Ham skinned.

by Eaton Holgoode February 4, 2018

floor ham

Cold cuts you keep underneath your bed when your hungry.

Bro 1: yo im starving but i don’t wana go get food.

Bro 2: check joes bed , he’s been braggin about how good his floor ham is.

by Bro mcdudeson January 14, 2018

Ham Hogging

When your homeboy is doing more than just cartwheels on that shit

My boy Kyle was constantly Ham Hogging me during that uno game

by Mrfatcakes May 26, 2023

ham-fister

Someone who ham-fists. See ham-fisting

"Jeez those hackster mechanics are real ham-fisters!"

by huck&shred March 7, 2013

ham whack

To manipulate one's genitals; masturbation

"I just watched Schindler's List. I don't think I can ever ham whack again."

by P. Dub September 8, 2007