The Texas Rangers don't make Barnshaw an honorary Texas Ranger. Barnshaw makes the Texas Rangers honorary Barnshaws
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Barnshaw would beat them both with a single drop of his 12 inch penis.
Barnshaw buys his Girl Scout
cookies from Green Berets.
If you
masturbate between 12am and 12pm everyday, then Barnshaw WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's face.
There used to be a street named after Barnshaw, but it was changed because nobody crosses Barnshaw and lives.
Death once had a near-Barnshaw experience
Some magicans can walk on
water, Barnshaw can swim through land.
Barnshaw counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Barnshaw.
Barnshaw doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.
Barnshaw once kicked a
horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Barnshaw and Superman once fought each other on a
bet. The
loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Some kids pee their name in
snow. Barnshaw shits his name in concrete.
Contrary to popular belief, Barnshaw cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down.
Barnshaw doesn't
mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow
Barnshaw puts the 'laughter' in "manslaughter'
Barnshaw once urinated in a semi truck's gas
tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
