Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 13, 2024

alarm clock charger

a alarm clock that charges your phone.

I don't use a normal charger I use a alarm clock charger.

by joyful coffee June 30, 2023

Dirty alarm clock

A woman standing over an alarm clock primed for 3:00AM while giving a blowjob and either cums or pisses on the alarm clock before the alarm goes off

"yo, once we went to my place we tried doin a " dirty alarm clock."

by Nnotbad March 29, 2022

Alarm Arms

Code word for a guy who has really strong smelling armpits.

Alarm Arms just pulled up. Let's hope he came to buy some deoderant.

by Man of 3 bushes October 17, 2021

UFO Alarm Clock

This knee charmer is often found in unique individuals with ties to super rich secret submarine service. Although known in military jargon as “foreign objects“, emergency surgery usually unearths armament shrapnel and pieces of snooze buttons from top quality alarm clocks. Still as mysterious as jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, this enigma of a titillating experience is easily summarized as suspenseful supreme “pop” sensation and not for the feeble mortal, a UFO Alarm Clock is like kryptonite to Superman. If you ever run into someone who has experienced the rare UFO alarm clock, feel free to gift them only the best sour beers for a speedy recovery!

“Hey John, I heard about that UFO Alarm Clock”, you good bro?”

“Yeah man, nothing a good Sour Brew can’t fix”

by Torsiondrummer July 29, 2020

Nigger Alarm

A phrase originating from an ironically racist 1975 comedy movie called “Darktown Strutters” to be used as a racially insensitive comedic remark when seeing a person who has dark skin.

“Nigger alarm! Tactical Squad, away!”

by SpeedMcWeed April 20, 2024

An alarm clock tissue

It is used in an instance where your boyfriend uses you up as an alarm clock to wake him up in the morning and crushes you into a ball and throws you off the bed to snooze you.

Rishik, I feel like I am an alarm clock tissue in this relationship.

by Ronin47 March 26, 2017