Cactus Surprise

When you're banging your bitch and when she just about to climax you pull out and yell "I'M GOING TO PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR VAGINA" and then proceed to put a banana up there instead. The surprise is that there's no cactus, there's banana.

Guy: *pulls out, prepares for a Cactus Surprise* "I'M GOING TO PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR VAGINA"
Girl: *screams*
Guy: *puts banana in her instead*
Girl: *screams, but not from pain*

by Rhukebab January 26, 2016

dehydrated cactus

When you haven't gotten laid in a long ass time because you're a prick.

Look over there that dudebro is a dehydrated cactus.

by DickSlaya69 March 4, 2016

pokey cactus

The act of a man covering his penis in glue, getting sand all over it, and having anal sex with his partner.

Since we're on the beach with a bottle of glue, how about I give you a pokey cactus?

by Bshshdbs March 10, 2016

cactus fetus

1. An insult referring to a stubborn person who will not be moved in their opinion.

2. Seed of a cactus.

1. Dylan is such a cactus fetus.

2. Kennedy and McKenzie decided to but some cactus fetus.

by Kittune, Lord of Chickens April 14, 2016

cactus

hey alex i like you!!

i gave you a cactus to tell you

by thisiscoolio November 15, 2018

african cactus

Shoving both a penis and a dildo up someones ass

"YO DUDE! My mate just used the African Cactus on me"

by DICKYYOMAMA July 12, 2017

african cactus

Simultaneously shoving a dick and viabrater up a mans ass

"YO STEVE MY BOI HARLEY JUST AFRICAN CACTUS'D MY MOM"

by DICKYYOMAMA July 12, 2017