Computer

A book or a box, it never means what it says.

"Help" tab never helps

"Print" tab never prints

by NoGig November 18, 2003

computer nigger

A information technology worker (or network administrator) who is not qualified or certified as a IT person but nevertheless performs these functions for an organization that does not have a budget for IT functions and tasks. The worker usually solves computer problems through trial and error and learns as he (or she) proceeds. Most of the problems solved should be figured out without this individual through online help menus.

Hey Bill, when I print this document the margins get cut-off. Why do the margins get cut-off?

Other employees: Bill is the computer nigger here.

by John Alexander December 28, 2006

commutercise

The act of travelling to and from work by physical means(running, biking, skating, roller blading, etc.) instead of using mass transit or a car.

Sid: How crowded was the subway this morning?

Nancy: I wouldn't know. I ride my bicycle everyday. I commutercise.

by NYCRunner August 30, 2010

computercide

When a Windows OS shuts it self down, may not restart.

Dude i dowloaded porn and my pc commited computercide. I was so damn pissed

by EL CATRACHO January 25, 2008

computer flu

when you computer runs REALLY slow!

Jeph: Damn it why wont you work *computer types really slow*

Dan: your computer has computer flu

by corrupchoas12 June 26, 2009

Computercate

To make something more complicated than it would have been had you not used the "convenience" of technology.

Person 1-Hey, let's figure out how to get to that new club. I'll wait the 10 minutes for my computer to power up, get on line and sift through the 100 results on the search engine before waiting for the interactive map to load which gives step by step instructions on how to get there from your current location.

Person 2-It's 3 blocks away on the corner of Main and 1st, don't computercate things?

by Trebleclef44 November 19, 2009

Computer Claw

When you work on a computer in a cold room and your mousing hand gets really cold.

"Ohhh don't touch me with that thing, it's cold"
"Sorry, I got computer claw"

by Gregly McClaw May 15, 2013