brita critter

Small black uglies that escape from the dirty side of a brita filter. Usually found floating in a glass of what could be delicious water.

I puked on the front lawn today after realizing the dog dish was harvesting a brita critter.

Jill warned me not to drink from the bottom of the jug, where the brita critters dwell.

by java monster February 24, 2008

de-clitted

the act of accidentally or intentionally removing your own clit.

My new razor is too sharp, I accidentally de-clitted myself.
The lady in Antichrist de-clitted herself in a psychotic frenzy.

by NewNightmare March 1, 2011

Meth Critters

Also known as Crank Critters Typical to be found on anything just slightly out of your eyes focal point either moving quickly in the peripheral field of vision and then freezing just as soon as you turn to acknowledge its presence. Shapeshifters from another dimension known to turn into random pieces of rubbish upon closer inspection. Only found to be present entering day 4 and beyond of any typical crystal meth fueled bender regardless of ones predilection to psychosomatic hallucinations when sober. Aka the beginning of the end for the inevitably insane or anyone frequenting the outer rim of the frayed edges of sanity.

“You boys ever seen a meth critter before? What do you mean wtf am I smokin, the same shit as you dumbass you just hit on that big shit a few years and you’ll see for yourselves them lil shits are real!!! and if you quit yer jibber jabber in an giggles I’ll tell you weenus tuggin amateur 12 hour marathon masterbatin mommas boys exactly what meth critters are: because I stared into the soul of one eye to eye in the winter of El Niño 1997. So there I was waiting for my guy on the canal bank right beyond the edge of juvenile hall just smokin a cigarette minding my own on the porch of a buddies slut moms house early on a Thursday... no satur...or was it Friday? no that was lasterday and my buddy was still Down in Fresno at his dads for the week so yeah it must’ve been Monday already again...eh fuck it look the point is I heard that Meth Critter long before I saw him but then again there it was creeping from shadow to shadow making its way down the alley. Then just as we made eye contact & right then before my unblinking eyes bam! that meth critter turned into a fn Carl’s Jr. hamburger wrapper & then just as swiftly it was now a seagull that flew up an away into a swirling mist...” -wise words spoken by a toothless old tweaker with the confidence of a true believer as a PSA or cautionary tale to wide eyed and drug addled teenagers (aka: anytown usa’s neighborhood kids known to hang @ any Rick’s place in the trailer park)

by Big D!ck Daddy July 19, 2019

Crispy Critter

A furry, Hippie, Liberal, brain fired, loon

Them crispy critters need to be put on leash.
Damn crispy critters keep tryna blame everything on guns.

by Coyote airsoft April 10, 2023

cliterature

Genre of fiction dealing primarily with the romantic and social lives of high-powered career women, usually set in New York City. Originated with Candace Bushnell's novel, "Sex and the City," which was soon followed by the Shopaholic series as well as numerous other imitations. The genre is more commonly and politely referred to as chick lit.

"Ever since she got 'Shopaholic' for her birthday, my mom's been obsessed with cliterature. It's so creepy."

by Meagan L. April 19, 2006

canyon critters

pimps that are bigger than Sam Curtis will ever be. They get way more girls and pussy then he ever will.

Chris is the pimpist canyon critter there is.

by canyon gangsta November 29, 2004

Clittoring

1. "... just think about it."
2. "Much like clammoring, just a bit more high pitched."

So, if a woman breaks into someone's house to masturbate, what do you charge her with? breaking and clittoring?

by T4rG3Ts0ftw4r3h3Lpd35k March 18, 2009