carpet yachting

When the dog drags it itchy hoop along the carpet in search of relief.

FFS, your fucking dog is carpet yachting again. You can clear up the brown tram line this time!

by halfmanhalfninja August 3, 2017

carpet snacking

When your toddler throws his goddamn food all over the carpet and then constantly comes back to it in order to snack on old, hair covered food.

My kid has had several bad shits today, but I cannot tell if it is from teething or from all his carpet snacking.

by trace brock January 11, 2019

melon carpet

The fuzzy hair on a lovely set of breasts of any gender.

"He took off his shirt and had the best melon carpet!!"

by corvideer October 2, 2018

carpet balls

The itchyness of one's gonads as though one has been fornicating on carpet.

Shit man, these undies have given me carpet balls.

by speech boy June 11, 2018

Carpet Brush

A mustache that is coarse and short, like a brush

"For no shave November, my boyfriend's carpet brush really made me uncomfortable but in a good way."

by Kinderella November 19, 2019

Carpet Beating

Jerking off in someone else’s room

Stop carpet beating and get out of my room

by Ayurpjurp May 28, 2019

Carpet banging

What a crackhead does when the run out of crack. Searching for a piece of crack that you're positive fell onto the carpet at some point during your crack binge.

"You seen pookie?"
"Yeah man that fool was carpet banging though so i ain't tryin to fuck with him."

by RPC3 September 13, 2019