jesus fucking christ

the way italians say i haven't seen you for a while

jesus fucking christ man, i aint seen you since that shit went down with that cocksucker pontius pilate

by ray March 24, 2005

come to jesus meeting

A meeting where someone close to you (e.g. friend, family, etc.) are confronted over behavior that's causing consternation that's negatively effecting your relationship.

"You and your brother need to have a come to jesus meeting over you always having to do his chores and yours."

by DC Daly May 12, 2009

Jesster

A being who usually has very small hands (often sweaty) and a quite high pitched voice (often quite like like mickey mouse on crack-cocaine, or towlie from the hit tv series South Park). She has a leech like quality of often grabbing onto attractive men. It also has a habit of watching TV from an angle and flaring her nostrils as she breaths through them. It also pronounces its "w" sounds in that oh-so annoying manner of sounding like they have a stick up their bum all the time and love the smell of their own farts, often putting a "who" before the word attempting to pronounce (Ex. Whoowhat). It often has what is known as a "donk" or large posterior, which it uses in order to attract the opposite sex. Sadly, if it were not for this redeeming quality, it might not even survive in the wild at all. Little else is known about this quite interesting, yet awkward creature, but as technology is advancing we hope to soon learn more about this being.

(note: closely related to the notorious Captain Cunningham)

Holly: Mother of pearl! Did you happen to see that Jesster?!?!

Greg: Yea... its quite sad actually... it did have a great donk though.

Holly: Hellz yea it did, poor thing, it could barely walk with that wagon it was draggin.

by Grolly123 March 27, 2011

Jesus Quintana

An eccentric character from the film "The Big Lebowski", who competes against the protagonists in a bowling league. He is typically shown wearing a distinctive purple jumpsuit and licking bowling balls. Described by Walter Sobchak as "A sex offender, with a record! He did 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an 8 year old. When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door-to-door to tell everyone he was a pederast."

You said it man! Nobody fucks with the Jesus. ~ Jesus Quintana regarding himself.

by thedudeabides March 5, 2012

Jesus Republican

n. & a. 1. n. A conservative christian who believes there is one way, the right way; believes that certain behaviors or choices are unsound; sees no contradiction in their choices as they are founded in scripture. 2. a. A negative term used to describe someone who sees everything in black and white and doesn't mind pushing their agenda on anyone who opposes their paradigm.

He's such a Jesus Republican, he's always going on about how evil abortion is, but he supports the war on Iraq and thinks the death penalty is a good thing. I thought the taking of life was immoral?

by Lazarus 01 February 24, 2009

Jesus Duck

The arrival of Jesus Duck is basically how you know a pond or lake is frozen over, when it is not necessarily obvious due to weather conditions, trees in the way, etc...

Its basically a duck walking on the lake when normally you'd see the duck (or swan or goose) half-in paddling away.

Jesus Duck does not bring gifts nor does he rise from the dead. His only message is that the body of water is now potentially traversable with skates.

I wasn't sure if the pond was frozen over or just very still, but Jesus Duck arrived and my insatiable curiosity was slated.

by Headcircus January 19, 2011

Mach Jesus

Driving too fast for your own good.

I saw the police chasing this car down the street at mach jesus.

by Shane Harrison June 25, 2007