Testicomey

A testimony that takes balls

James Comey's testimony against the president took balls to stand up to a dic-tater , it should be known as a testicomey

by Retrospectacle June 8, 2017

Testigrabs

When someone grabs your bare testicles

Yesterday, I was changing in the locker room. And I took off my undies and pants. Then the bullies snuck in and pinned me down and gave me so many jerks and testigrabs. Then they put my underpants back on and cut a hole where the penis was so everyone saw it. Then they gave me a hanging wedgie on the hooks. I was left there for 9 days.

by yrwxafina December 5, 2017

testimoanial

A praising report of how wonderful a "noisy" sexual encounter was with someone.

I'd like to give a rousing testimoanial for Brandon --- that dude totally knows how to pleasure a woman!

by QuacksO October 13, 2018

testimoany

Exaggerated /overly-dramatic court-statements given by one or more somewhat-less-than-honest "witnesses", and which they heavily embellish with lots of whiny wheezes and crocodile-tears-drenched sighs.

Unfortunately, this strategy can actually be surprisingly effective in convincing a judge/jury of a defendant's guilt, especially if the "witness" is female --- last I heard, there are untold multitudes of totally-innocent men in prison right now --- some even on death row --- who are there merely because of the lying testimoany of some attention-seeking/money-hungry b***h and a few of her equally-conscience-impaired hussy-cronies!

by QuacksO December 25, 2018

testimony payments

Regularly-doled-out amounts of cash paid to someone as reimbursement for his "cooperative" court-related actions, either for his providing false/exaggerated trial-statements to make the cases run in favor of the "benefactor", or as "hush money" to KEEP the person FROM testifying AGAINST his "benefactor".

A couple months ago I was a witness to a shoplifting where the police were called, so I secretly spoke with the thieves and offered to keep quiet about what I'd seen if they would each slip me fifty bucks a month for the next three years. They willingly agreed, but as of now I have yet to receive one red cent of my promised testimony payments.

by QuacksO December 25, 2018

testimoney

Refers to one or more cash-bribes paid to someone who is willing to lie in court on behalf of his/her "benefactor", either to get said cash-flasher off the hook for a crime that he did indeed commit, or to wrongfully convict someone else who either is completely innocent or could not have been expected to behave differently from how he acted (i.e, he has a physical/mental disability, he'd had no idea whatsoever that he was doing other than what was acceptable, there were extenuating circumstances and/or there was "more to the story" than the plaintiffs were letting on, etc.).

If you are sufficiently attractive and/or possess a sufficiently-convincing manner, you may not need to seek "regular" employment --- you may be able to subsist very comfortably on the testimoney of others who need a "vindicating/corroborating witness".

by QuacksO December 26, 2018

testicomfortable

A word used to describe something that can fit inside Karl Marx' balls (both the raccoon and Russian leader)
Mostly used to describe someone who is racist

"I'm gonna say a racial slur!!!"
"bro that's kinda testicomfortable."

by Gameingwattch July 28, 2021