Skip to main content

hypochondria

1. a declaration made by medical professionals and blowhards when faced with an illness they can't decode with a quick once over or basic blood test. This conclusion is often reached once insurance benefits are maxed out, or even more rapidly if the person is uninsured or has an HMO. By assuring the patient that he or she does not actually suffer from the symptoms they visibly see and feel, these doctors can dispense the coveted diagnosis of crazy before moving on to the next obviously crazy not-sick patient. This hypochondria declaration also helps distracted doctors maintain something sort of like integrity, because it's not like they didn't know or didn't try, and it's not that insurance companies suck or that it's sometimes hard to pinpoint a cause and treat it -- really, it's just the dirty, dirty patient's fault for being so darn kooky. Very similar to miserable women being perpetually diagnosed with hysteria back in the day, except no one prescribes vibrators for treatment anymore.

2. the default response of narcissists who consider those suffering illness inconvenient.
1. Well, antibiotics didn't work, so we've been thinking it must be all in your head. I'm writing you a prescription for hypochondria. Pfizer has been working on a great formula for you. You might have heard of it, since the name is written on this pen I'm using. Now, I've got a tee time to make...

2. Even since I was diagnosed with hypochondria, the rash melting the skin from the left side of my body has totally cleared. I'm really grateful to my doctor for noticing it was a massive hallucination.
by aboom March 6, 2013
mugGet the hypochondria mug.

Hypocardriac

Someone who always things something is wrong with their car.

A parent who has to inspect your car every time you come back from being with your friends.
"Do you hear that noise? I think I have a belt loose." "Dude, thet's the engine. Quit being a hypocardriac."

"My dad is such a hypocardriac. He went over every inch of my car with a magnifying glass looking for scratches."
by VladmiraI February 15, 2009
mugGet the Hypocardriac mug.

Hypocorondria

Being overenthusiastic about the coronavirus safety precautions.
Hey, why did Ann just remove all the chairs from the lunch room? Never mind, she has hypocorondria.

Did you notice Johnny stockpiling all this toilet paper? Yeah, he's coronavirus prepping, he is hypocorondriac.
by Smeerban April 2, 2020
mugGet the Hypocorondria mug.

moral hypochondria

Symptomatic of global guilt and a victim mentality on social issues usually voiced via social media or rallies.
The keyboard warriors are suffering a severe bout of moral hypochondria
by Powzy March 13, 2020
mugGet the moral hypochondria mug.

Hypochondriacs

Something on the rise as the media convinces people that if you cough, then you have covid.
Shopper with hay fever: Coughs*

Public: Stares at the shopper

Shopper with hay fever: What are y'all looking at? I have hay fever you bunch of hypochondriacs.
by UltimateDoge July 24, 2021
mugGet the Hypochondriacs mug.

hypochondriacts

hypochondriacts are people that contantly think they are sick or mentaly ill when there not
guy1:she claims to be mentaly ill but i checked her out and shes fine
guy2:ah just load that fucker up with placebo
guy1:gotta love them hypochondriacts
by deityman September 29, 2006
mugGet the hypochondriacts mug.

hypochondriac

Amy d. a.k.a. babycakes ALWAYS has warts, some type of severe cough, endometriosis, and cervical cancer (ps-from warts); therefore she is a hypochondriac.
by kenneth j. s. March 31, 2007
mugGet the hypochondriac mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email