Fund Accountant

An individual who accepts their meager existence in back-offices and gray cubicle rows until they dissipate into pure anonymity. Frequently excreted on by the rest of the company as a human cesspool, they lurk in the hazy glow of asinine spreadsheets and fruitless excel recreation. Individuals suffering from this syndrome have been known to cope with their existence by extended lunches at ill repute bars playing buck-hunter and talking about how they are "under appreciated". Severe psychological damage and alcoholism are the most commonly experienced byproducts.

Joe is not management material, he had a 15 dollar break which shows how poor of a fund accountant he is.

And here is our back-office, they are the piece-of-shit (POS) fund accountants who crunch our numbers.

by Vito Nicola May 7, 2008

sam fender

sam fender is one of the most talented and amazing artists to ever exist. he’s so funny, entertaining and adorable. he got a really beautiful and interesting voice and he’s so beautiful inside and out. he’s also an underrated artist who deserves more recognition but i’m sure he will get THAT recognition and support really soon because he’s going to save the music industry in 2019 and nobody is ready. yohoo!!

sam fender is releasing his first album on september 13th, don’t forget to buy and stream it.

by greasyspoon28 August 24, 2019

Fendelmaning

The act of attempting to sexually engage those much younger than you.

Jerry Sandusky always had a passion for fendelmaning.

by Sr. Notafagli Kwestminster August 27, 2014

Flundergumped

Stupified, dumbfounded, flabbergasted

When you're hit in the head with a 2x4, you've done been flundergumped .

by Flundergumped April 22, 2016

hedge fund

A type of investment fund with very high fees for investors and a focus on complex financial derivatives. Hedge funds charge around 20% of returns (sometimes a lot more) plus a flat fee of typically 2%.

Originally hedge funds were based on the concept of risk hedging; high-yield investments are always riskier than low-yield ones, so a fund manager could presumably put all the money in one instrument with enormous risk and hope for the best. That is, to put it bluntly, insane. So the manager uses a strategy of hedging risk as cheaply as possible, such as a very elaborate combination of derivatives that rise in value if the main asset declines in value.

Hedge funds are organized to be very exclusive, requiring a very long commitment and limited membership. The managers are much more daring and will take much more aggressive risks than mutual funds.

The largest hedge fund company is JP MorganChase.

During the first decade of the '00's, hedge funds outperformed most other asset classes. But when they melt down, like LTCM in 1997, it can be a huge event.

by Sorry, the good guys lost September 4, 2010

slush fund

A sum of money set apart for discretionary and/or undocumented spending, often fraudulent, illegal, or dishonest.

News Junkie: Our governments is widely known for unaccountable slush funds built up to funnel money to their friends.
Innocent Kid: Are you serious? I've never heard about that. How this could ever happen?

by humblepiece June 2, 2017

fundage

Money, usually in an adquate abundance to support a certain cause.

I have enough fundage on my person to pay for the cakes and ale.

by theformerowenmeany November 24, 2009