flex tape is basically the only thing able to keep your ass from tearing during those hot, sweaty nights that you decided that getting butt fucked by Thanos was a good idea. And don’t get me wrong, Thanos will make passionate love to you and will do it well, but not even his gauntlet can stop you from almost getting split into to by his massive purple cock. Only flex tape can.
person 1: my marriage is falling apart. my kids have aids. i’m being evicted in 34 minutes. please god, I can’t do this alone. help. me.
god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—
*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*
phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—
*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*
phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
by depressed as actual f u c k February 22, 2019
Get the Flex Tapemug. You know those wax pads? Well this is the alternative to that phony shit. if you wax your balls with this stuff, people will hear your scream from a couple miles away...but at least there is no more ball hair!
mom: *looks in cabinet for waxing pads, cant find any
mom: shit, well at least i got flex tape.
son:* sleeping peacefully in bedroom until being woken up by hearing his mom yell in pain from downstairs bathroom.
mom: shit, well at least i got flex tape.
son:* sleeping peacefully in bedroom until being woken up by hearing his mom yell in pain from downstairs bathroom.
by bobo_the_hobo6 January 31, 2019
Get the flex tapemug. A tape type of product from flex seal™, mostly known from the two videos of jontron; "waterproofing my life with FLEX TAPE - Jontron" and "FLEX TAPE II: the flexening - Jontron". The company has made many commercials and Phil Swift is in most of them telling us the many used of flex tape. It can instantly bond in to almost anything and can stop any leak. Plus, some of them even work underwater!
Phil: Flex tape is super strong and when Its on, it holds on tight!
Jon: *shook* no Phil you're super strong.
Jon: *shook* no Phil you're super strong.
by Pixel41 December 18, 2018
Get the Flex tapemug. by InkDictionary January 11, 2019
Get the Flex Tapemug. the act of wrapping your dick and another mans dick together using flex tape and preforming anal sex
John- why would anyone preform a flex tape duo?
John 2- cause that shit water proof
John 3- NOW THAT'S ALOT OF ANAL DAMAGE
John 2- cause that shit water proof
John 3- NOW THAT'S ALOT OF ANAL DAMAGE
by I Eat Ass. August 15, 2018
Get the Flex Tape Duomug. by WORD123456789WORD February 22, 2022
Get the strong flex tapemug. This thing can literally fix anything! It could have probably stopped the Titanic from sinking, too bad Alan Swift wasn't alive.. unless 🤔
Person 1: Dude I got some flex tape and it can fix anything!
Person 2: No way! Can it fix my life?
Person 1: I'm afraid not...
Person 2: Dang it.
Person 2: No way! Can it fix my life?
Person 1: I'm afraid not...
Person 2: Dang it.
by Apersonthathasnothingbettertod April 12, 2020
Get the Flex tapemug.