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Ulises

(Proper Noun) Ulises is the quintessential, personification of the error of mankind. While mostly docile, Ulises tends to build cases on his peers with which he’s able to blackmail at his victims least suspecting moments; these moments typically occur after a break up, loss of a job, the death of a pet, and/or during a murder.
When encountering a Ulises, one wants to make sure they are actively up on current pop culture events, specifically in relation to Britney Spears in an effort to distract and dissuade any nefarious actions.
Carry a back up boysenberry jam and be prepared to toss it.
Ulises, I remember that time you shart all over my bathtub for Christmas.
by YumYummkittyfuck March 8, 2020
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ulses

The ultimate ninja!

You never know when he will strike!

Often seen leaving rooms, but never seen entering.
Did you touch my shoulder or was that an Ulses?
by the one and only grasshopper January 13, 2011
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Ulises

Ulises is such a nice caring person. Definitely spiritual and a very earth person. Yet he so nice to others around him some may want to take control so Ulises will make sure you have it coming. You never want to be on his bad side because let’s all face it that’s scary. Many people mistake his looks for bad but deep deep down he’s a very sweet, romantic, generous. When he likes someone he will do anything for his partner.
I wish my boyfriend was a Ulises, so handsome and loyal
by 2Bree22 February 24, 2021
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Old Man Ulysses

Oh, he's just an elder man who sometimes pops up in my definitions. For example, he appeared in my definition for smard. Mr. Wordington out!
Old Man Ulysses: You whippersnappers ought to remember that you must stay away from burn book styled definitions and sexual phrases, y'hear!
by Mr. Wordington the Tenth October 31, 2018
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Ulysses

Getting home (at all, or anytime soon)

A reference to a translated Odyssey by Homer, the character Odysseus is translated to Ulysses. In the story, it took something like 10 years for the man to get home to his wife and dog from the Trojan war (In the Iliad). He had all kinds of adventures along the way, from the sirens to calypso.

In the Franz Ferdinand album, Tonight, the first song is titled Ulysses. In the song the man is singing about how bored he is at night and calls up his friends to get high and have a good time. In the video, while he is on the payfone there is a sticker on the phone that reads 'Am I Ulysses?' (Am I getting home tonight? Or at all for that matter...)

If you are Ulysses, you'll get home. If you aren't you won't.
"Am I Ulysses? Am I Ulysses?" "No, but you are now boy"

"Oh then suddenly you know, you're never going home.... You're not Ulysses"
by The New Afro-Scottish Gentry, February 26, 2010
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ulysses salamander

a weird kid who is a fortnite try hard and they have no friends
by qasxcvghjuhgfdsasdcfvghj December 17, 2018
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Ulysses

An impossibly dense, difficult, and meandering novel written by James Joyce that all English Literature majors claim to enjoy, but secretly despise. The best part is the ending, when you know you don't have to read another page of metaphors, allusions, and vague references that lead nowhere.
Some guy: "Fellow literature student, did you like 'Ulysses' by James Joyce?"

Some other guy: "Sure did! Each and every new paragraph was a window into a new and exciting literary expedition!"

*Meanwhile, God kills a baby kitten for the above student's lies*
by A.J. Miller March 3, 2008
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