shmeat

fake meat ; vegetable protean made to taste like meat. short for "shit for meat". also, shicken, sham, etc

we are having shmeat for dinner.

by doctor-dark May 16, 2014

shmeat loaf

when a guy has a small penis which is all crusty,scabby and rotting

hannah:i almost fucked callum last nite

dylan: why didn't you

hannah: hes got a fucking shmeat loaf

dylan:ewwww

by jordads February 22, 2008

Sheart attack

A physiological response to an extreme surprise involving simultaneous evacuation of one's bowels and cardiac arrest.

I nearly had a sheart attack when I was almost hit by the car that ran the red light.

by llanevad November 25, 2016

dog shmeat

when something is dog shmeat it is bad

that’s dog shmeat my guy
used negatively

by djmdjmdjm11 November 16, 2018

shmeat clobber

an irregularly large male genitalia. Ranging from 9.5-16.5 inches in length, with a typical girth of 4-5 inches. It is easy to spot a shmeat clobber through one’s garments.

Jessica: Oh my god! All of the girls love him.
Stacy: I wonder why.
Jessica: It’s a no brainer, he has a shmeat clobber!

by shmeetbopper May 18, 2022

shlurp my shmeat

What Matthew does to my exceedingly large phallus

"wow, the only thing Matthew does is shlurp my shmeat!"

by tekritin February 7, 2018

Shmeat

Shmeat (adj)- describing an item (a thing). Example: “that shmeat over there” or “did you do that shmeat that we were supposed to do for homework?”

Shmeated (adj)- a person who is either drunk or high (not sober). Example: “I am shmeated right now” or “I just want to get shmeated”

That shmeat is fire bro.

I’m so shmeated I can’t even talk to you right now.

by staphinfection101 April 19, 2019