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peternity test

Da DNA-based pipette-work dat you have da local lab perform to determine if yer un-neutered male four-footed companion "sowed his wild oats" wif da "fluffy little pumpkin" owned by da neighborhood gramma.
Besides meaning a "is yer cat or dog da daddy of my own lap-animal's unexpected litter?" investigation, da term "peternity test" can also sarcastically refer to a X-and-Y-chromosome check from which da results seem to take forever to get back.
by QuacksO December 3, 2025
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Paternique

To be moved by the smoothness of the word, mesmerize by the word of a smooth operator, to be stump, trumped in a debate or conquered by words.
Do not debate with him, You have been Paternique'd. He is extremely articulate his way with word is mesmerizing. She was Paterniqued by him on the way to the dance floor.
by Micheal Peppers February 4, 2010
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maternity effect

The realization of a husband understanding or experiencing his wife's pain during pregnancy and/or labor, and acquiring a sudden appreciation or respect for her.
A: I went through the pregnancy simulator with my wife yesterday, and I don't know how she does it.
B: Dude, you were a victim of the maternity effect!
by OrangeEagleMonkey December 5, 2017
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Faternity leave

A period of maternity leave, unexpected by friends and co-workers as nobody knew the Mother to be was expecting, due to her already substantial build.
Where's Kate been these past few weeks, Dave?

She's on faternity leave with the bairn.

I didn't even know she was pregnant...She was already a big girl though.

Aye, fraternity leave, right enough.
by Bayesoir December 31, 2019
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baternity leave

Noun, the name given to conventional paternity leave which is seamlessly bolted on to a period of sick leave.
Graham, "what a tosser Seb is, he's meant to be working on that project but he's gone on baternity leave," Colin, "yeah, amazing, he caught that bug just in time to get a straight five weeks off; fucking planned it I think."
by Grandsire May 4, 2020
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Maternity Leave

a period of absence from work granted to people for paid leave.
"Maternity Leave?" *looks under table* "But you're all males!"
by Wither24 July 19, 2022
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Mexican Maternity ward

When all of the stalls in a Mexican restaurant's bathroom are occupied. Grunting can typically be heard, much like a real maternity ward.
I had to deliver a turd baby, but it was a total Mexican maternity ward in there! I nearly shit myself!
by Itnotrad February 18, 2026
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