oracle book

When a question cannot be answered by conventional logic, one can refer to the oracle book. You do this by posing the question to a book of your choice, flipping to a random page and reading the first sentence that catches your eye. The oracle's answers may be difficult to interpret at first, but they will come to make sense as more time is allowed to pass. The oracle book is never wrong.

Genny: What are panda noises and how do they sound like?
Allie: I can't answer that logically, let's consult the oracle book.
(DAVINCI CODE: Chapter 67)
Teabing's manservant Remy, on orders from his master was doing an impressive job maneuvering the vehicle across the moonlit fields behind Chateau Villette.
*Three Hours of Deliberation*
Allie: So we're in agreement? Sounds like a box of rainbows.

by OperationsIvy March 2, 2010

Ask the Oracle

Googling the net for definitive answers.

I didn't know if it was a bad idea to mix those meds, so I decided to ask the Oracle and she told me they were the primary ingredients of vomit and comas.

by Buffycee January 15, 2011

Southern Oracle

To titty fuck two women at the same time, preferably to completion.

Alanah and Sarah knelt in front of me, pressed their boobs together and before I knew it I was performing a Southern Oracle!

by Bonesleaze June 10, 2012

War Oracle

The name of the pacifist wise man (or woman) that can be found in every city.

"Did you see that creepy old lady?" "Ya man, she was totally the LA War Oracle!"

by War Oracle March 3, 2009

Oracle

That one friend who gets so high, he starts to spill the secrets of the universe.

Adam(shabonked):come around me my children

Greg: guys the Oracle has awaken

by Speedwagon1999 September 23, 2023

Oracle

A person from Ancient Greek mythology that speaks prophecies to Greek heroes AKA "Something or someone that will predict how you die :3"

Person 1: hey did you talk to the oracle today that’s in the attic.
Person 2: yeah it told me how the world could end some with farts and exploding cows
Person 1: oh that’s horrible

by Sayuki Yuko <3 August 19, 2024

The Oracle

A person among a small group who talks out of their ass almost daily about sports related topics. Usually this person will spend countless hours posting meaninglessness stats, tweets, and slap-stick Brobible links. He will then make off the wall sports predictions lacking any substance. Usually, he is ignored and wrong most of the time. Even more annoying, when be does correctly predict something, he let's the group know in the most douche chilling way possible.

"I told yall, I was right again," said the Oracle, as the group cringed in unison.

by Loonybird October 5, 2018